The Terminator is back in cinemas with a new romp called Terminator Genisys. No, that’s not a typo or us being irreverent, it’s the name of the film. What we’re guessing happened here is as follows: someone went to write Genesis but tragically sneezed whilst typing, thusly we have Genisys.
Everyone’s favourite 67-year-old iron pumping Austrian actor dude is back in the role. The film’s crap, apparently, but that doesn’t mean the first two films are rubbish. Quite the opposite, they’re brilliant! There’s also one of the most famous quotes ever in the first one – “I’ll be back.”
In the scene the Terminator arrives at a packed police station and decides to cause some havoc in order to procure the elusive Sarah Connor. How does he do it? He grunts “I’ll be back” and returns dramatically. But what should he have said?
I’ll be back
There’s the original. The robot is at least true to its word. It does indeed come back. Just in a way one would class as somewhat subversive for polite society.
I will be back
Apparently, director James Cameron and star Big Arnie had a 17-hour debate over whether to go for “I’ll” or “I will”. The contraction proved to be better as the momentary delay of Arnold switching from “I” to “will” ruined the tension in the scene. Plus, Arnold’s way of saying it also made the whole thing quite hilarious. LOL!
I’ll buy a Big Mac
After that 17 hour debate The Austrian Oak was feeling bloody hungry, leading to many fluffed lines such as the hilarious above example!
I’ll be back with a Mac
Schwarzenegger’s character, the Terminator, you have to presume would be powered by Apple in some way. So essentially he was/is an Apple Mac, but that doesn’t mean he can’t use one for mass murder.
I need a smack
Feeling remorse following his recent murderous rampages, the Terminator reports to a police station and requests to be placed into the naughty pen.
I want to buy a hat
Malfunctioning after Mr. Bean’s character runs him over, the Terminator arrives at the copper’s station and politely asks to purchase a pretty hat with flowers. This would certainly suit his leather biker jacket and psycho look, for sure.
I’ll be Bach
Austrian lunatic robot the Terminator is so angry because he’s jealous of Bach’s glorious compositions. Listen, mate, jealously won’t get you anywhere. Turn to chronic overeating instead.
I want to be a lumberjack
You’re not the only one, Big Arnie. You’re not the only one.
I’ll be a quack
Time travelling Big Arnie has had enough of this terminating lark and wants to return to the Middle Ages to practice medicine poorly. His specialities of hacking limbs off, causing agonising injuries, or instant death, would be particularly well suited to a time when doctors were more like butchers.
I’ll live in a shack
Once again fed up with his lifestyle, the Terminator decides to Do A Diogenes (a man from Antiquity who gave everything up to live in a barrel) and take to living in utterly smelly poverty. What a freak of nature.
I’ll be a hack
The Terminator shows off his shrewd nature by realising a career in journalism would best suit him. Hold the front page with your limb which isn’t severed!
I’ll be a doormat
Suffering from esteem issue problems, The Terms (his nickname with his Terminator mates) suffers a crisis and equates himself with the lowly doormat. Poor Big Arnie!
I’ll be bark
He’s not known as the Austrian Oak for no reason, you know? He’s covered in bark, and he will be bark.
The best brains around are Roses’ Pork Brains in Milk Gravy, which is what Big Arnie eats for breakfast, lunch, and tea. Hearty!