The Sixth Sense is a 1999 movie starring some kid actor who’s now an adult, and Bruce Willis when he still had hair. *SPOILER ALERT* In the movie Bruce cops it but doesn’t realise it, and then wanders around helping an annoying kid who’s having deranged visions.

Anyway, the plot prompted many “hilarious” comedians to make a joke where they let slip the spoiler. Seriously, we remember dozens of comedians doing this at the time, and even still do it now. It wasn’t funny the first thyme, and it still isn’t funny now. So shut it!

Perpetual child actor Haley Joel Osment plays Cole Sear, a kid who likes coal so much he changed his forename to it. But made a spelling error – the moron. Worse, the thespian playing the kid has a woman’s forename. LOL! ROFLMAO! Etc.

Haley grunts the immortal line “I see dead people” in The Sixth Sense, which led to many observations at Professional Moron as to what SHOULD have been said. So… what really should have been said?

Hmmmmmmmmmm…

I see alive people.

As do most people, thusly rendering The Sixth Sense a film of about 30 minutes long. Once the kid lets this one slip, Bruce rolls his eyes and clears off to McDonald’s.

I don’t see dead people.

Much the same as above, leaving Bruce to roll his eyes and clear off to KFC.

I see deaf people.

The kid thinks he can see deaf people from a mile away, which makes Bruce roll his eyes and head to the nearest Burger King.

Icy dead people.

This vague innuendo makes Bruce Willis think of iced tea, rather than the inexorable slip into icy cold deaf.

I see deed polls.

A legal deed made and executed by one part only, probably by Bruce Willis so he could change his name to Spruce Willy. Cos it’s funny.

I dread people.

Don’t we all, kid? Do not we all!

I see dreadlock people.

Clearly having visions of Bob Marley and his dreadlock mates. Awwww yeah.

I.C. Weiner

Duh huh huh huh huh huuuuh HUH huuuuh…

I see ginger bread people.

I’m sure you do, you little creep.

I see dregs, people!

Well, being able to pinpoint the sediment of liquid is a highly useful ability.

I see Red people.

Communist hater Haley Osmond gets bloody furious when he spots The Reds. Those fools had better run once they see the baby faced child star Go Mental.

I see Zed, people.

Yeah, you know Zed. Zed was in Pulp Fiction, plus he is dead after Marcellus Wallace got Medieval on his ass, so no wonder the kid can see him.

I behead people.

Psycho child actor Haley has a deep and dark side to his personality.

I see cheese spread, people.

He may be a lunatic but, by jove, the boy knows fine food when he spots it.

I date bread, people.

No, little Haley isn’t a pervert. This is simply the job he took up once he was no longer a child: sale-by-dating bread in supermarkets. Yes, he’s a shelf stacker, folks. A lowly working class scumbag. Good riddance, you dead people seeing freak of nature!