We don’t normally get excited about the opening of a hip new restaurant. Indeed, we normally have no idea what’s going on in the Mancunian restaurant scene, the foodie scene, or any scene in general. Seriously, someone could open up an “Organic Horse Manure Kebabs” shop and we’d have no idea.
Horse manure can sod off, but we delightfully welcome London’s Hipster friendly Burger & Lobster chain to The North. Not that we give a damn about burgers, being the putrid globules or flab they are, but Lobsters… well, sonny jim, we could eat those things pretty damn regularly. Like every day like King Henry VII did, and we wouldn’t even mind going morbidly obese in the process.
Now to some of you whom aren’t English, you won’t realise there’s a North and South divide. A lot of British people have a divide problem about something: there’s the Left and Right divide in politics, and Southerners and Northerners regard each other suspiciously.
It’s not as if the respective cardinal directions unite together in collective mindless dislike, mind, as a lot of Northerners despise other Northerners as well (such as Burnley vs Blackburn, or Liverpool vs Manchester), although this isn’t quite as bad down South. Anyway, we’re simply trying to portray the, rather idiotic, complexities of existing as British folk in 2015.
Thusly, when that posh shop from the South crops up Oop Norf, locals will eye the property like one would eye a diseased ferret which is shouting Communist propaganda. This is to state thusly: suspiciously and with intent on wanton destruction.
Luckily for Burgers & Lobsters, Oop Norf we love burgers! Except Professional Moron. Mind you, we don’t hate them, it’s just we’re always going to choose lobsters over some pustule like flabby burger. Which isn’t to state we wouldn’t eat burgers, we merely choose not to as we consider them SOUTHERN PROPAGANDA!
Burgers & Lobsters (Manchester style) opens in August of 2015. Which is next month – we may give you a review.
Inspired by this sublime inspirational food stuff combination, you may also expect Professional Moron’s café “Sausages, Ice Cream, & Cheese Doughnuts” to open in September 2015. Keep one ear peeled to the ceiling!