Bonnie and Clyde made going on a killing and robbing frenzy cool. Without them, and the 1967 film, we’d all be a lot worse off – although not fiscally, as they’d have robbed everyone. A life of crime never pays, you see (unless you’re rich enough to bribe everyone), with Bonnie and Clyde ultimately shot to smithereens for their actions. Kids – don’t do illegal stuff. If you have to rob anything, make it some sweets – just steer clear of banks!

Starring Warren Beatty and Faye Dunaway, the ’67 film captures a sense of youthful revolt and subversion. Balls to the 9-5 grind, let’s steal cash and get shot to bits! The famous line in the film of “We rob banks” is a fitting reminder of how unusual these two were – do you know anyone who robs banks? Exactly! But what if they’d decided to go about it in a different way?

We rob banks

The original in all its glory. The trick to robbing banks, clearly, is to be good looking. Who could turn down these two for their efforts? “Sure! Have the cash, just call me later, Clyde!” – you’d be all like that. Truth.

We robe banks

Banks are fairly stately and one would think they would look a lot better with a robe over them. So this would be very decent behaviour from these two.

We rob tanks

Arguably not the best strategy available to anyone but whatever floats your boat, Bonnie and Clyde.

We rob Yanks

Okay, there really is no need to be prejudiced. We know a lot of them are well off, but Americans deserve to be left alone, dammit!

We rob Spanx

Spanx, for the uninitiated, is tight fitting clothing which makes one look thinner. So… Bonnie and Clyde were secretly morbidly obese? We guess that’s why they did it!

We rob Mancs

If Bonnie and Clyde tried any funny business in Manchester, they’d get a hefty kick up the ass from a horde of demented, barely intelligible, and inexplicably unintelligent chavs. That’d teach them!

Wii Rob Banks

The Nintendo Wii video game which never was!

We rob riverbanks

A lot of robbers are stupid and, thusly, the abundance of water near riverbanks may be tempting for a robbery. Ultimately, it’s not going to achieve much monetary gain.

We rob gangplanks

Again, with pirates more keen on using guns and bazookas these days (just see Captain Philips), robbing gangplanks to sell for a higher price is just stupid.

We rob francs

A pretty decent idea but, again, somewhat prejudiced against the French. Plus, the plan doesn’t capitalise on other available currency – youthful stupidity on their part.

We thingamabob banks

This would be a cuter way of highlighting you’re the terror of the land.

We swab banks

Utterly superfluous and guaranteed to earn you a spell in a loony bin.

We gob on banks

This is rude and offensive and impertinent, frankly. Plus, someone might slip on the gob and injure themselves. It’s a criminal offence!

We rob planks

As with the whole gangplank thing, this is just stupid on a monetary level.

We knob banks

Okay, this is a family blog and we won’t go there.

And finally…

We rob Swanks

People called Hilary Swank, we guess. She doesn’t need robbing, she’s lovely. Leave her alone!