Professional Moron

Professional Moron

Daily Doses of Surreal Humour & Culture

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Tag: Humour

January 6, 2018May 17, 2018Mr. Wapojif

The Timewaster Diaries by Robin Cooper

Santa's Exclusive Column 2017
September 4, 2017September 4, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Santa’s Exclusive Column: Getting Ready For Christmas!

Bleach balls - everyone is happy with bleach involved
July 11, 2017July 6, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: Bleach Ball – For Great Times by the Sea!

How to Name Your Baby Guide
July 7, 2017July 1, 2017Mr. Wapojif

How to Name Your Baby (with help from Professional Moron!)

Don't look a gift horse in the mouth
July 6, 2017July 6, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Great Sayings Revisited: Don’t look a git horse in the mouth

Planet of the Apes - Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape!
July 5, 2017July 5, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Planet of the Apes: “Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!” Quote Off Extravaganza!

The Humbrella
July 4, 2017July 4, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Invention: The Humblebrella (keeping you dry and humble)

Banofeet pie
July 3, 2017July 3, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Banofeet Pie (making feet acceptable again)

Bobble hats banned in the UK
June 30, 2017June 29, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: Bobble Hats Outlawed For Summer – Bobble Hat Enthusiasts Outraged

Oscar Winning Films Ruined by Cement
June 29, 2017June 30, 2017Mr. Wapojif

20 Oscar Winning Films Ruined By Adding “Cement” to the Title

Slipper Kippers
June 27, 2017June 27, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: Slipper Kippers (for wearing and eating!)

Why can't I use mankind in conversation
June 26, 2017June 25, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Agony Aunt: “HELP! Why can’t I say ‘mankind’ no more?!”

June 23, 2017June 18, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Marshland Marshmallows & Sardine Ice Cream

More than just a petty face
June 22, 2017June 21, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Great Sayings Revisited: More than just a petty face

Sudden Impact - Clint Eastwood
June 21, 2017June 21, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Sudden Impact: “Go ahead, make my day” Quote Off Extravaganza!

In Praise of Owls
June 20, 2017June 21, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Evolutionary Theory: Why Are Owls So Bloody Wise?

Toilet Cloner
June 19, 2017June 20, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: Toilet Cloner (miles better than toilet cleaner)

Tzatziki to be renamed
June 16, 2017June 16, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: Controversy as Tzatziki Renamed “Cucumber Dip”

20 Classic Plays Ruined By Using Body Parts in the Title
June 13, 2017June 12, 2017Mr. Wapojif

20 Classic Plays Ruined By Using Body Parts in the Title

Snowflake generation
June 12, 2017June 12, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Agony Aunt: “HELP! My kids are snowflakes!”

NASA plans to visit The Sun tabloid newspaper
June 8, 2017June 8, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: NASA to Visit The Sun – Tabloid Rejects Request!

Classic songs ruined by fish
June 7, 2017June 7, 2017Mr. Wapojif

20 Classic Songs Ruined By Using Fish Names in the Titles

Pain et Agony au Chocolat
June 6, 2017June 6, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Pain et Agony au Chocolat (delicious!)

The first woman on Mars
June 5, 2017June 5, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Agony Aunt: “I’m a man and I want to be the first woman on Mars”

Face Off
June 2, 2017June 2, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Face/Off: “I’d like to take his face… off” Quote Off Extravaganza!

Mansplaining
June 1, 2017May 31, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Agony Aunt: “HELP! My boyfriend keeps mansplaining!”

Potatoes
May 31, 2017May 31, 2017Mr. Wapojif

20 Classic Films Ruined By Using “Potato” in the Title

The ReHearse - Rehearse in a hearse
May 30, 2017May 29, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: ReHearse (private rehearsing in a hearse!)

ConfiDance the dancing robot
May 26, 2017May 25, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: Learn to Dance with the ConfiDance Robot!

Pommes de Tear clothes recipe
May 25, 2017May 25, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Pommes de Tear (make your torn clothes edible)

Withnail and I
May 24, 2017May 24, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Withnail and I: “I demand to have some booze!” Quote Off

Brain language scan
May 23, 2017May 23, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: PastErr (see your conversational filler records!)

UK national anthem to be rewritten
May 22, 2017May 22, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: British National Anthem to be Rewritten!

Government plans mint plans
May 19, 2017May 19, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: UK Government Plans Major Mint-Based Reforms

The Carafan Invention
May 18, 2017May 14, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: Carafans (a caravan with a 12ft fan on the back)

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Our Most Excellent Posts

In Praise of Yellow!
The Best Song Titles That Haven’t Been Used Yet
Top 10 Most Epic & Glorious Modern 2D Platformer Games!
The 1972 Great Daylight Fireball: Our Lucky Escape & Other Asteroids
Why Does Jeff Goldblum Say “Must go faster” In Jurassic Park & Independence Day?
Agony Aunt: "I can't remember what my husband looks like!"
In Praise of the Opening Music From Mr. Bean
Titanic: “I’m flying... Jack!” Quote Off Extravaganza!
20 Classic Films Ruined By Using "Potato" in the Title
10 Vegetables Which Sound Like Your Insulting Someone

Arbitrary Image Alert!

Behold... Jupiter!

When is it Autumn?

Get your raincoats ready!September 23rd, 2018
3 months to go.

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