Professional Moron

Professional Moron

Daily Doses of Surreal Humour & Culture

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Tag: Humour

Withnail and I
18 hours ago May 24, 2017May 24, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Withnail and I: “I demand to have some booze!” Quote Off

Brain language scan
2 days ago May 23, 2017May 23, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: PastErr (see your conversational filler records!)

UK national anthem to be rewritten
3 days ago May 22, 2017May 22, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: British National Anthem to be Rewritten!

Government plans mint plans
6 days ago May 19, 2017May 19, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: UK Government Plans Major Mint-Based Reforms

The Carafan Invention
7 days ago May 18, 2017May 14, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: Carafans (a caravan with a 12ft fan on the back)

Candy Floss Floss
1 week ago May 17, 2017May 14, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Candy Floss Floss (eat whilst flossing!)

Chores the TV show
1 week ago May 16, 2017May 14, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Great TV Shows That Never Were: Chores (like Cheers, but tedious)

Public displays of affection (PDAs) are evil
1 week ago May 15, 2017May 14, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Agony Aunt: “HELP! Should I perform PDAs in public?!”

Sardine Soufflé
2 weeks ago May 12, 2017May 6, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Sardine & Chocolate Soufflé!

Like trying to get mud out of a stone
2 weeks ago May 11, 2017May 6, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Great Sayings Revisited: Like Trying to Get Mud Out of a Stone

Who Wants to Be a Minger
May 10, 2017May 6, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Great TV Shows That Never Were: Who Wants to Be a Minger?

Terminator 2- Judgement Day - Come with me if you want to live
May 9, 2017May 6, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Terminator 2 – Judgement Day: “Come with me if you want to live” Quote Off Extravaganza!

May 8, 2017May 4, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Interview: Mr. Wapojif of Professional Moron Reveals All!

Go down like a shed balloon
May 5, 2017April 30, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Great Sayings Revisited: Go Down Like a Shed Balloon

Potato Milk
May 4, 2017April 30, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Potato Milk (like almond milk, but better)

Central Hooting
May 3, 2017April 30, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Invention: Central Hooting (heating with brilliant sound effects)

Beds to be replaced with meds
May 2, 2017April 30, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: Beds to be Replaced with Meds in Economy Push

How do I look like Brad Pitt?
May 1, 2017April 30, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Agony Aunt: “HELP! How Do I Make Myself Look Like Brad Pitt?!”

The Wizard of Oz
April 28, 2017April 28, 2017Mr. Wapojif

The Wizard of Oz: “Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore” Quote off Extravaganza!

Satsuma Sandwiches
April 27, 2017April 27, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Satsuma, Salt, & Mayonnaise Sandwiches

Don't beat about the mush
April 26, 2017April 26, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Great Sayings Revisited: Don’t beat about the mush

Spoon Fireworks
April 25, 2017April 25, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: Volatile Spoon Fireworks Eating Implement!

April 24, 2017April 24, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: Sparkling Water “Too Sparkling” & Dumbed Down

The tooth is out there
April 21, 2017April 21, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Great Sayings Revisited: The Tooth is Out There

How to lose one stone in one week
April 20, 2017April 20, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Agony Aunt: “HELP! I need to lose one stone in one week!”

Noodles and Poodles Smoothie
April 19, 2017April 19, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Noodles and Poodle Hair Smoothie

sCones - Cones and Scones Invention
April 18, 2017April 18, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: sCones (a scone and cone hybrid for drivers)

Withnail and I
April 17, 2017April 28, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Withnail and I: 30th Anniversary for the Thunderous Cult Classic!

The problem with manspreading
April 14, 2017April 17, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Agony Aunt: “HELP! My boyfriend keeps manspreading!”

The Lunge
April 13, 2017April 9, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: The Lunge (a lounge for lungers)

The Squashing Machine
April 12, 2017April 9, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: The Squashing Machine (a washing machine which squashes stuff)

The early bird catches worms
April 11, 2017April 11, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Great Sayings Revisited: The early bird catches worms

The Walking Bed TV Show
April 10, 2017April 10, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Great TV Shows That Never Were: The Walking Bed

The Empire Strikes Back - No. I am your father.
April 7, 2017April 7, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Star Wars: “No. I am your father.” Quote Off Extravaganza!

Finding your one true love
April 6, 2017April 6, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Agony Aunt: “HELP! How do I find my one true love?”

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Wonderful way to cheer me up on a dark day. Perfectly timed, thank you @retrogamermag! ♥️ #SuperMarioKart #SNES #RetroGaming Telling Steve off for tipping one of his wheels over. #Hamster tantrums. Bloody hell! I bought GROTESQUE sweet and salty by accident instead of a PROPER flavour... got a bit angry. #Popcorn wars. 🍿 New pride and joy! Get yourself an electronic drum kit. It's effing awesome fun! #Drums #Drumming Oh yeah!!! Looking forward to this, big time. #MarioKart8Deluxe There's some sort of monster outside our home... should we call the cops!? #Morning

Our Most Excellent Posts

The Best Song Titles That Haven’t Been Used Yet
Withnail and I: "I demand to have some booze!" Quote Off
Pie Debate: Are Pies Unhealthy?
Titanic: “I’m flying... Jack!” Quote Off Extravaganza!
Why Does Jeff Goldblum Say “Must go faster” In Jurassic Park & Independence Day?
10 Vegetables Which Sound Like Your Insulting Someone
As Good As It Gets: “You make me want to be a better man” Super Quote Off Extravaganza!
Exclusive Invention: PastErr (see your conversational filler records!)
In Praise of Bananas in Pyjamas
A Few Good Men: "You can't handle the truth!" Quote Off Extravaganza!

Arbitrary Image Alert!

Behold... Jupiter!

Summer?!

ZOMG! IT'S SUMMER!June 21st, 2017
27 days to go.

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