Midnight Cowboy is a film about cowboys at midnight. Released in 1969, it stars Dustin Hoffman and John Voight who strike up an unusual friendship as Voight attempts to exploit his good looks to make it as a, sort of, gigolo. He’s a bit too dumb to make it all work, though, and conman Hoffman is too busy walking here to make it all add together.
The iconic scene in question was, apparently, ad libbed. The duo were almost run over by a cab driver and it prompted Hoffman’s legendary, awesome line. Thusly, from now on, you let everyone else know you’re walking here to keep your rightful place in the world. But… what if Hoffman had said something else in the spur of the moment?
I’m walking here!
Dustin Hoffman is, indeed, walking here. This remark is factually accurate and informative. Had he said, “I’m not walking here!” it would have been a blatant lie and lies are wrong.
I’m squawking here!
Okay, but you’re not though are you, dustbin? You’re not squawking at all. You are not a parrot.
I’m rotting here!
This would have been accurate had Midnight Cowboy been a zombie movie. Trouble is, it isn’t.
I’m talking here!
This would have been pretty good as well as, you know, he is talking.
I’m walking, hear hear!
I say! This would have been a bit of a celebratory comment about his walking prowess. Mint.
I’m marauding here!
Wouldn’t really go around letting slip this intention, dustbin. We mean… it’s kinda illegal to do that.
I’m carrying a fork, here!
Too right! Did you know most injuries on the road are caused by people stabbing themselves with a fork in an impact? Dustin was right to be angry!
I’m snorkling, here!
The poor, sad delusions of a man suffering from… poor, sad delusions.
I’m with boring here!
Well that’s just rude, John Voight is very interesting, we’re sure of it. Look at him there – he looks super interesting!
I’m stalling here!
Not technically accurate as you haven’t stalled, Dustin, you aren’t even in a car. Think logically next time. The dangers of ad libbing, we guess.
I’m crawling here!
Well then you shouldn’t be angry, if you’re crawling around on the streets you’re liable to get run over. Fool.
I’m stalking here!
Right… probably not a good idea to admit that in public, dustbin, no matter how truthful it may be.
I’m yawning here!
Well then get a better night’s sleep. Also, look where your going – yawning or not, you should be paying attention.
I’m pouring here!
Wait, what? You’re pouring yourself some champagne and not looking where you’re going? What’s the world coming to?! Fools everywhere!
I’m roaring here!
Well then shut up so you can hear the traffic better. Jeez, this guy is really just asking to get run over.
I’m swabbing here!
Not the best activity to be carrying out on the busy streets. Such foolhardy behaviour is, again, liable to result in a hospital visit. No wonder this guy limps.
I’m sleepwalking here!
Oh… god! Well, look Dustin, if you’re going to be sleepwalking about in a CITY then you really only have yourself to blame for your accident prone nature. It’s not hard to work it out.