Exclusive Invention: Photograpurrs (cat photographers)

Cat photographer
An artist’s impression of a photograpurr.

When you stop to think about it, it’s obvious cats would be the best photographers in the world. Why? Well, they’re canny, bendy, can get into weird and wonderful situations, and they’re sneaky SOBs as well! Exactly the type of qualities you need to cut it in a world of snapping shots.

This is why we’ve come up with a highly trained, elite group of photograpurrs! Now, we don’t have the time or money to do any of the training, or buy a load of cats and cameras, but we did at least envisage what could happen, as well as study cats in the local region of Manchester to ensure they could live up to being photograpurrs. Here are our findings.


The name, as you might be able to tell, has something to do with that cat thing that cats like doing: purring. It just slotted in nicely with the name, the cats won’t be doing any purring whilst on the job as they don’t have any time for that sort of stuff. Especially the catarazzi (the cat version of paparazzi) ones who need to keep quiet whilst they photograph celebrities at the beach.

Most photograpurrs wouldn’t be interested in seeing Rihanna hitting the surf, or whatever, they’d be more keen on people like Cat Stevens (for obvious reasons) and snapping shots of local birds, the interiors of other peoples’ homes after they’ve wandered in, and from within the confines of a comfy cat basket.

“What is the point of this, FFS?” you may well squeak, “It doesn’t even achieve anything!”. Well, climbing Mount Everest doesn’t really achieve anything. Neither does us running this stupid website, but when one dares to DREAM, dear reader, that’s when you can give a cat a camera and get it to go and get some pictures from underneath the neighbour’s parked car. Now that’s some serious 21st century advancement right there!

How about “Photografur”?

In what sense? In the way a lot of animals have fur and could, consequently, be amateur photographers? We see what you’re getting. It’d be quite interesting seeing a, for instance, llama precariously dangling from a ledge in order to get a good shot of the Hebrides. Asides from all the slobber over the equipment, we’d expect them to be a solid, steady hand.

Other animals worth training up would be owls, mice, rats, geese, that big one from Jurassic Park (no, not Jeff Goldblum), and maybe even caterpillars (but only the hairy ones). Anyway, this was a contemplative piece today to take in the possibility of animals as happy snappers. If you’d like to fund this project, please send us a litter of kittens, some state of the art digital cameras, and $70,000 in cash to fund the rest of the endeavour. Cheers!


Dispense with some gibberish!

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