Commando (1985) was one of Big Arnie’s first proper bombastic action hero type movie romps. Packed out with all manner of Arnold Noises and pithy one-liners, it was quite the steamy time of it for any cinemagoer.

The highlight is definitely one the pun, “Let off some steam, Bennett.” This is delivered in deadpan fashion to the film’s mortally wounded antagonist Captain Bennett (Vernon Wells).

What got us thinking here, though, is… what if Arnold had decided to say something else!?

Let off some steam, Bennett

Okay, here’s the original in all its glory! As pithy one-liners go it’s one of the better ones from Schwarzenegger’s career. A giant step above the many and varied efforts from Batman & Robin’s godawful puns, anyway.

Let of some steam, Bennett

This one is just to annoy the spelling nerds of the world. Rage away at it. Take vengeance on its flaws.

Let off some screams, Bennett

See, this would have worked kind of well we think. You know, like screaming because he’s got this massive pipe stuck in his chest. It’s apt!

Let off some beams, Bennett

Aww sooky sooky! Mind your potatoes and what’s your 20, because we’ve got some disco beams! And explosions, of course. This being a Big Arnie thing there are plenty of explosions! 💥

Let op some steam, Bennett

Okay, so “let op!” means “look out!” in Dutch so this is really clever of us, do you see?

Let off some Krispy Kremes, Bennett

You only need to see Schwarzenegger’s Japanese noodle adverts to see the guy isn’t beyond a bit of product placement. So, why not go one step further and one-liner the donut chain Krispy Kremes into the mix? Exactly!

Let off some D:Ream, Bennett

Yes, we’re referring to that Irish/English pop band D: Ream who had the scientist Brian Cox in as a member. Things can only get better.

Let off some MS Teams, Bennett

Well, yes, MS Teams probably is the most popular video calling tool these days. Zoom died a bit of a death. So, bit more product placement here!

Let off some streams, Bennett

Yeah, like get yourself on Twitch or YouTube, Bennett, get some live streams on the go. It may be more difficult now if you’re dead, but the more unique your approach to it the better chance of a massive following.

Let off some extremes, Bennett

Well, yeah, it doesn’t get more extreme than being impaled by a large rod into your chest.

Let off some American dreams, Bennett

Pretty sure death isn’t the American dream. Or maybe with this one Big Arnie is referring to himself, the ultimate American dream (even though he’s from Austria).

Sweat off some steam, Bennett

As a one-liner this is almost perfect. Excellent product placement opportunity, too, if they could get a deal going with some sauna company.

Duet off some steam, Bennett

It’d be a very different film if Big Arnie and Bennett put aside their differences and broke into a moving rendition of some ABBA song (as an example). Most moving indeed. A real opportunity missed by Commando, there.

And finally…

Let off some vanilla ice cream, Bennett

Even if you’ve got a massive implement protruding from your torso and death is impending, a bit of good old vanilla ice cream will take the edge off things.