Do YOU want to be a multi-millionaire!? Well, DON’T enter The National Pottery! Because this one is all about pots!
If you want POTS this is the random sweepstake to enter in the vague hope of winning something lotto!
You’ll be wealthy (in a pot-based sense) beyond your wildest dreams should you overcome the 300-million-to-one chance of winning some pots!
WIN a Pot of Gold in the National Pottery 🎉🍲🤑
OH MY GOD! The sheer EXCITEMENT of (potentially) WINNING some pots is enough to drive even the sanest of individuals totally mental!
We have a bunch of games for you to enter RIGHT NOW that could get you winning more pots than you can possible even conceive of.
Potto 💰
THE BIG ONE! THE JACKPOT! THE ONCE IN A LIFETIME OPPORTUNITY TO LINE YOUR HOME WITH MILLIONS OF POTS!
It’s only £5 to enter Potto.
For your efforts, you one a ONE IN 300 MILLION chance of winning 50 million pots! Thing of all that pottery in your home. Your friends would be:
- Seething with jealousy
- Plotting to murder you
- Plotting to steal your pots
- Pot-headed (like being hot-headed, but with pots)
Enter today and you’ll be the envy of your neighbour and all of the world’s pottery-based organisations.
Thunderpots 🥘
It’s only £1 to enter Thunderpots. You have a ONE IN 100 MILLION chance of winning! And if you do, it’s a grand prize of 300,000 pots for your home. Hurray! Huzzah! Hurray!
Potto Hotpots ⚱️
For a measly 50 pence you can enter into a ONE IN 30 MILLION chance of winning 10,000 pots delivered to your address EVERY MONTH!
You read that correctly. At the end of each month 30 vans turn up and dump the pots all over your driveway. Miracles do happen!
Lucky Pot Shot Gold 🧉
For just 10 pence per ticket, you can enter for a ONE IN 100 chance to win A SINGLE PLANT POT! Crap compared to the others, right?
But for some weird reason this is our most popular prize win among our customers. Baffling. They’d rather have one pot plant pot than 50 million of them. Freaks!
What to do With Your Pot of Gold 🌈💰🍀
Once you’ve received your winnings, you may feel slightly overwhelmed with millions of pots cluttering up your home.
That’s natural.
In fact, you may start cursing the day you won the jackpot and can’t even bloody well see the point of The National Pottery.
That’s also natural.
Most of our lucky winners usually abandon and jettison as much of their winnings as possible in dumpsters, fields, or just out on the roads somewhere. Others become heavily depressed and blow up their homes just to rid themselves of the pottery. Kaboom! 💥
While we appreciate winning The National Pottery is very possibly the worst thing to ever happen to you, we’ve put together a few puns to brighten your day! Enjoy.
“I made a statue of Dirty Harry in my pottery class. Want to inspect it? Go ahead, make my clay!
“The pottery man shouts ‘T’PAU!’ because he’s got China In His Hands…”
“I found out James Bond is a big fan of pottery. He’s even got a licence to kiln.”
“I spent a while trying my hand at pottery, but I was only kiln time.”
You see? There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel.
Granted, you won’t be able to see the light because of all the pottery blocking your view, but rest assured it’s there ready and waiting for you. All thanks to The National Pottery!
