Another year is almost over and we’re here to point that out. We were going to run this post next weekend, but decided to shift it forward a week! Priorities.

That means we’re doing the year in review when there’s still a week to go oh my days. And we mean our year here at Professional Moron, plus the wider cultural 2023 with all its happenings.

Professional Moron’s Year in Review

There! Just an assortment of some of our favourites over the last 12 months. Once again on Professional Moron, nothing was achieved and that’s a glorious thing indeed.

Any other posts we loved?

Maybe it wasn’t your favourite, but we had a bloody whale of a time compiling Caravaggio’s bizarre antics back from his era. See, everyone was just more polite in the good old days!

Caravaggio: The Criminal Record of a Genius Artist

Yeah, so thanks for sticking with us. We don’t bring you breaking news or world firsts, but we do bring you enough stupidity to prop up your own shattered ego. You’re welcome!

The Pointless Poll

Here’s a poll for no real reason other than to do something a little different today.

Thank you for voting and forever hold your peas. 🫛

Culture of the Year 2023 Awards Ceremony Extravaganza Special OMG It’s, Like, Totes Amazeballs

And now moving on to the annual highlight of the year for everybody!

It’s OUR awards and because it’s US we’re 100% right about everything ALWAYS and if you disagree with anything we say below you’re probably just too WOKE.

Film of the Year

The highlight of our cinematic year was the 40th anniversary relaunch of Talking Head’s concert film Stop Making Sense.

We saw it twice. One at the fancy pants Trafford Centre in Manchester, then at Printworks entertainment complex in Manchester. Indeed.

The whole show has a euphoric vibe to it, with the band and their supporting musicians on lifetime best form. Go forth and watch this one!

AAA Game of the Year

No doubt for us on this one, it was Nintendo’s bloody jaw-dropping Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom. Our game of the year and, no doubt, for many other people, too!

Where do you even begin!? A vast adventure like this, with so many intricate details and little charming moments, is one that’s magnificent to explore.

Nintendo’s masterful sense of joy is matched by TOTK’s sweeping sense of peaceful solitude. Bloody hell, we feel like playing it all over again.

Indie Game of the Year

Yeah, we thought quite a bit about this. But the award must go to the rather magnificent RPG Sea of Stars, an instant classic that should be played by one and all.

As a fitting homage to 16-bit Super Nintendo era role-playing games, it also has more than has its own identity. And its charm offensive, stunning appearance, and little intricacies make it a total gem of a title.

Once again, there were so many brilliant indie games this year. But it has to go to Sabotage Studio’s glorious effort.

Music of the Year

Musical highlight of the year for us was really getting into video game composer Floex’s canon. Boy, the man has done some phenomenal stuff.

Floex specialises in ambient noise, often mixing classical instruments alongside electronica and all sorts of other stuff.

He’s quite brilliant and he’s adding a moody spring to our step all year.

Dance Moves of the Year

For the second consecutive year, Cillian Murphy… sorry, we mean David Byrne has wrapped this one up. That’s for his moving performance in 1983’s Stop Making Sense.

The Talking Heads star has all manner of weird goings on in that film. Stimming and juddering out his autistic tendencies left-right-and-centre, which led one journalist to call the show a euphoric experience for neurodiverse people. Rather!

Surprise Musical Realisation of the Year

As you do, we were just messing around on YouTube. We decided have a listen to The Bee Gees, having had no real previous interest in them.

We soon found ourselves wanting to strut our stuff! And got a new appreciation from the Manchester trio’s harmonising abilities. Particularly with Nights On Broadway above.

New guilty pleasure?! We suppose so! But that’s some real quality songwriting above there.

Book of the Year 2023

This year we’ve read 456 books and… okay, that’s a lie. But we did read a fair few books! The ongoing highlight is James Clavell’s Shōgun (1975).

At over 1,100 pages we’ll be reading it for much of 2024, too! We must say it’s an incredible piece of work and positively riveting.

By random happenstance, there’s a major TV series adaptation launching in early 2024 based on the book. Good news? Yes!

Art of the Year

This is going to the mighty Hieronymus Bosch and his superb name. Thanks to his bizarre (yet incredible) work, we discovered the delights of Hieronymus Bosch butt music (it’ll make more sense if you read the piece there).

All hail to Hieronymus Bosch! He may have been dead for hundreds of years, but with a name like that he’ll last an eternity.

Christmas Song of the Year

This was the Christmas song of 2023. You may complain about the hysterical shrieking, but we do not. It is the perfect summary of this time of year.

Business and Political Review of 2023 (it was all about the daffodils)

As we like to torture ourselves so, let’s have a glorious look at the beautiful business world and politics and just yes that’s marvellous, isn’t it?

• Business: No.
• Politics: No.
• Economics: No.
• Daffodils: In Q1 2023 UK households purchased some 1.53 billion pounds worth of plants, flowers, and gardening goods. Some of that lot will have been daffodils.

We must end 2023, a year of yet more capitalist greed and chronic economic failings in the name of supporting self-absorbed rich dickheads, with delight on the daffodils front. 🌻🌹💐🌸🌺🪻

Our 2024 Predictions on Everything

To wrap things up (it’s Christmas, get it!?) here’s what we expect to happen over the next 12 months. Total accuracy assured:

• Cabbage sales will go up! 🥬
• The superrich people will continue being clueless and petulant (“I just worked harder than everyone else!” etc.)
• Max Verstappen will win at least one grand prix.
• We’ll get a pet of some sort (be it a cat, dog, or a hamster).
• There’ll be an alien invasion of space warlords

That’s it! Have yourselves a super Christmas 2023 and all the very best with your endeavours over the next 12 months (don’t forget to get cabbage stocks!).