Attend the world’s first Chainsaw Opera for a beautiful musical venue unlike any other! The music is truly… revolutionary (i.e. like a revving chainsaw motor… it’s a pun).

Listen to our orchestra’s unique take on the world’s most accomplished music. Whether it’s Beethoven, Chopin, Mozart, Liszt, Wagner, or Burt Bacharach, our chainsaw-wielding musicians take the world’s greatest music to new and destructible heights.

Book your tickets from TODAY (or face the decapatational consequences).

Chainsaws Make Even the Most Boring Wagner Opera a Riveting, Terrifying Affair

Our CEO of Chainsaw Opera, Dr. Budd Buttocks (yes that is his real name, please withhold from childish innuendo), has this to say about our 10,000 seater venue that’s just opened on the outskirts of Bolton, Greater Manchester:

“Chainsaws have been a mainstay of popular music since the 1740s. As have bazookas. However, the latter are banned at our establishment so do not bloody well turn up with them. What we offer, though, are beautiful renditions of classic operatic numbers all to the tune of chainsaw-wielding musicians. Some of whom may, or may not, have recently been released on parole.”

Our orchestra consists of 35 chainsaw musicians. They are skilled at lugging the equipment up into the air and revving them in time with popular opera.

We’ve especially adapted famous opera to accommodate for our weapon of choice:

• The Chainsaw of Figaro
• The Magic Chainsaw
• The Chainsaw of Seville
• Ride of the Chainsaws

There will be more as each season progresses. How it works is you turn up, take your seat, wait for the performance to start, and then sit back and try to relax. We appreciate it may be difficult to relax due to:

• Many chainsaws revving at extreme volume
• The profusion of petrol fumes clogging up the venue atmosphere

Please note, we’re working on introducing a ventilation system into the building. Until then, you will have to politely sit and bear with us as you breathe in toxic chemicals.

The bonus is you get to hear wonderful chainsaw-based music as you do so. Tickets start at £300 per event. Please note, if you arrive late to the performance you will be cleaved in half by a chainsaw-wielding ticket attendant.

Health and Safety Warning Regarding Dangerous Levels of Petrol Fumes

Disclaimer: Chainsaw Opera cannot be held legally responsible in the event you are decapitated during one of our events. This is entirely on you—attend at your own peril. Additionally, please do not:

• Talk during performances
• Mutter during performances
• Complain during performances
• Panic and flee during performances
• Inhale the toxic petrol fumes during performances

Additionally, do not take pictures (also known as photographs). These are banned at our venue.

Additionally, please not the constant, pelting, all-consuming fumes from the many chainsaws does create a highly toxic light entertainment venue. Attending our venue, after leaving the venue you will endure:

• Wheezing
• Whooping cough syndrome
• Drooling
• Physiological collapse

Please note, Chainsaw Opera maintains the right to never offer refunds.