Back in 2020 we covered the joys of broken English in retro games. Yesterday, when bedridden with the horrors of man flu, we did some extra research into more examples.
One title that immediately struck us was Bloody Wolf (called Battle Rangers in the West). This is classic run and gun Contra rip-off, but one made special thanks to its brilliantly poor Japanese-to-English translation.
Thus, we’re here to celebrate its inability to cobble sentences together as you massacre all before you. Hurray!
Run and Gun in Battle Rangers’ Grammatical Disaster
This game was developed by (no defunct) Japanese devs Data East. ならず者戦闘部隊ブラッディウルフ (Narazumono Sentō Butai Bloody Wolf—Rogue Combat Squad: Bloody Wolf) was an arcade game first in 1988.
It launched in the West as Battle Rangers. In 1989 it enjoyed a PC port and 1990 hit the TurboGrafx. Little else happened for the game until 2007, when Nintendo added it to its Virtual Console online library.
Bloody Wolf is a basic clone of the popular shooty series Contra.
In traditional fashion, it riffed off ’80s hypermasculine action films such as Commando and Rambo with Big Arnie and Stallone (respectively).
Bloody Wolf as a game was met with above average reviews.
The plot involves two commandos, Eagle and Snake, who are part of the Bloody Wolf squad. They get instructions to destroy an enemy base, save the President of America, and rescue allies.
What follows is standard run and gun lark, with shooty boom stuff and endless hordes of enemies.
The broken English comes in thick and fast (see below with the full arcade unit playthrough) from the 1 minute 20 second mark. This is really what we’re here to celebrate, thus let us inspect those errors.
The Best Broken English Bits in Bloody Wolf
What stands out in an otherwise generic ’80s shooter?
Some of the very finest examples of broken English. Keep in mind, hyper-busy game devs in the late ’80s didn’t have access to the internet and hiring some expert translator online. Instead, many devs had to rely on someone in-house who had a smattering of English knowledge.
This has led to some very amusing screw ups. An endearing, cute ode to some Japanese person giving it their all, but just falling a little bit short.
Here are some of the very best moments!
Let’s put that here on the site to celebrate it:
“YOU! INVADERS! GET YOU THE HOT BULLETS OF SHOTGUN TO DIE!”
Then there’s this gem.
The iconic legend of:
“I’VE GOT BAZOOKA!”
And then last but not least.
The expressive magnificence of:
“YOU STUPID! YOU DIE!”
Whilst researching games like this, we noticed a lot of Japanese devs leaning in (and getting wrong) the use of “stupid” as an insult. We find it all rather charming, a different culture trying to comprehend Western tastes.
As for the rest of the game, there are many, many more broken English error across is, but the above are the most egregious errors. It’s a terrible translation, but there’s something charming about it.
What we like is how this translation was completed and then the game released in the West. Someone in quality control for PAL releases must have seen the errors and gone, “Yeah, okay, that’s fine.”
Not that it matters for a run and game title like this. Who cares? It adds a bit of humour to proceedings.
