Jigsaws. The death-defying pastime that’s tested the nerves of millions around the globe since at least 1953. Oh, but you now want a spot of tea and some relaxation while you piece together a pretty picture of a flower!?!
WELL IT AIN’T HAPPENING! That’s because The International Extreme Jigsaw Competition is here. It’s extreme. It’s dangerous. You have to pay £20 to enter. Your life will be on the line! You brave enough!? You’d bloody well better be!
Extreme Jigsaw Solving: Overcome the Odds to Survive and Win a Chocolate Bar 🍫
Extreme jigsaw competitions take place in the most HELLISH of possible circumstances! 🔥
With our venue in the beating heart of Bolton of Greater Manchester, contestants participate to OBLITERATE the opposition by competing DIFFICULT jigsaws as fast as humanly possible! As they compete, the following will take place at random:
- Lions will be set loose in the participation zone 🦁
- Many donkeys will begin braying at MAXIMUM VOLUME 🫏
- EXPLOSIONS WILL COMMENCE ARBITRARILY… BOOM!!! 🔥
- A drunken football riot will randomly commence 🍻
- Members of the crowd will pelt you with rotten tomatoes 🍅
- Rap music will blare at MAXIMUM VOLUME 🎶
- The crowd will eat packets of crisps and chew with their mouths open 🍴
If participants DON’T have half of their allocated jigsaw completed within 30 minutes of the start, they’ll have BOTH their legs broken by one of our burly security guards.
These are the rules:
- The contest takes place for 24 hours
- Contestants much complete as many jigsaws as possible within 24 hours
- NO DRINKS
- NO PERFORMANCE ENHANCING DRUGS
- NO EXCUSES
- NO GIVING UP AND HEADING HOME FOR A CUP OF TEA
Extreme jigsaw solving is one of the most dangerous sports for a reason. It’s not to be taken seriously and if, for a single second, for one tiny iota, if we think you’re not 100% committed to this art form you’ll be attacked by our completely insane competition founder Dave.
Health & Safety Disclaimer for The International Extreme Jigsaw Competition
Participants participate in The International Extreme Jigsaw Competition 2025 at their own risk.
Based on the 2024 event, participants can expect a wide variety of health issues after successfully completing 24 hours of jigsaw solving. Illnesses can include, but aren’t limited to:
- Extreme eye strain and headaches
- Muscle cramps
- Back pains
- Sleep deprivation and/or exhaustion
- Delirium and/or hallucinations
- Irritability
- Dehydration
- Extreme hunger
- Mania
- Death
If you begin suffering from repetitive strain injury (RSI), an on-site masseuse is on hand to massage your cramped tendons back into action. Additionally, extra large cans of energy drinks will be on-site at £10 a can.
Whilst contestants take part at their own risk, please note the event is generally a light-hearted and spirited affair that unites puzzle fans around the Lancashire area. Anyone from outside of Lancashire will be viewed with scepticism, not least SOUTHERN PANSIES with posh accents who don’t know what a pork pie is.
