Welcome to a new series we’re trying out! We’re seeing if we can get amusement from the AI-powered tool ChatGPT. It generates text based on prompts you give it.

First time out, we’re here with excerpts from The Adventures of Celine Dion. We’re seeing what ChatGPT can do, thinking ahead about turning this into a 300,000 page epic with Mz. Dion across the planet and, subsequently, the galaxy.

A Brief Intro to ChatGPT

Right there—that’s the ChatGPT interface. Minimalistic, non?

Okay, you may have heard of ChatGPT in the press. It’s an AI tool that autogenerates content with fancy wizardry stuff. Into the search bar at the bottom of the above screengrab, you can enter all manner of prompts.

The AI tool will then autogenerate, in less than 60 seconds, some content.

And this content is written to a pretty high standard. Our day job is as copywriters. From our look at it, the content comes out like an eager college student enthusing about a topic.

Naturally, for us, it turned into an instant opportunity to create some silly stories. We’d had this idea for a while, even thought about running a series about it, but then settled on our Chatbot the Chat Show thing. But now… it’s time for some stories.

The AI-Powered Adventures of Celine Dion

Disclaimer: These stories are fabricated and Celine Dion had nothing to do with them in any capacity.

Prompt: Write a short story about Celine Dion and Arnold Schwarzenegger arguing violently about cheese. The argument ends in a punch up.

Celine Dion and Arnold Schwarzenegger were two unlikely friends. They met at a charity event and hit it off over their mutual love of music and fitness. However, on this particular day, they were not getting along.

It all started when Celine Dion brought out a cheese platter for their snack. Arnold Schwarzenegger took one look at the cheeses and began to criticize them. “These cheeses are all wrong! They are too soft and not sharp enough,” he exclaimed.

Celine, who prided herself on her knowledge of fine foods, was quick to defend her choices. “These cheeses are perfectly fine. They are aged to perfection and have a subtle flavor that complements the crackers.”

Arnold was not convinced. He grabbed a piece of cheese and took a bite. “This tastes like cardboard! How could you serve such a thing?” he yelled.

Celine was offended by Arnold’s remark and shot back, “You don’t know what you’re talking about! You’re just a muscle-bound brute who can’t appreciate fine cuisine!”

Arnold was taken aback by Celine’s insult and before he knew it, he had punched her in the face. Celine fell to the ground, stunned by the blow.

The two continued to fight, rolling around on the floor and exchanging blows. It wasn’t until security came in and pulled them apart that they finally stopped.

As they were being escorted out of the building, Celine and Arnold glared at each other, still seething with anger. They knew their friendship was over, and all because of a simple cheese platter.

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Prompt: Write a short story about Celine Dion using caveman language. The story should be about a war involving cheese, with My Heart Will Go On as the warrior’s anthem.

Celine strong warrior. Celine live long time ago, in land far, far away. Celine tribe fight for cheese. Cheese big, round and yellow. Tribe fight other tribe for cheese. No one know why.

Celine sing song, “My Heart Go On,” when go to war. Song make Celine feel brave. Make other warriors feel brave too.

One day, Celine tribe go to war with big tribe. Big tribe have many warriors. Celine tribe scared.

Celine sing song, “My Heart Go On,” and warriors feel brave. Celine lead warriors into battle. Big tribe fight hard, but Celine tribe fight harder. Celine sing song louder.

Celine tribe win war. Celine sing song, “My Heart Go On,” to celebrate. Tribe dance and eat cheese. Celine happy. Celine love cheese. Celine love song.

From that day on, Celine tribe win many wars. Celine always sing song, “My Heart Go On,” before battle. Other tribes fear Celine tribe. They say Celine magic warrior.

Celine never forget war. Celine always remember cheese. Celine always sing song, “My Heart Go On,” when eat cheese.

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Prompt: Write a very short story about a volatile argument between Celine Dion and Arnold Schwarzenegger about daffodils. The fight ends in brutal fisticuffs.

Celine Dion and Arnold Schwarzenegger were having a heated argument about the beauty of daffodils. Celine claimed that they were the most stunning flowers, while Arnold argued that roses were superior. As the argument escalated, insults were thrown and tempers flared until they started to exchange blows. The once peaceful room was now filled with the sound of fists connecting with flesh. In the end, both were bruised and battered, lying on the floor surrounded by the remnants of their argument. From that day on, they never spoke about flowers again.

Prompt Version 2: Write a short story about a volatile argument between Celine Dion and Arnold Schwarzenegger regarding daffodils. The fight ends in brutal fisticuffs, with Celine the victor.

Celine Dion and Arnold Schwarzenegger were never the best of friends. In fact, they never even really got along. It all started when they both attended a charity event together, and Celine complimented Arnold’s shirt, saying that it reminded her of daffodils.

Arnold, who was already in a bad mood, snapped back at her, saying that daffodils were a terrible flower and that she had no taste. Celine was taken aback by his rude comment and tried to defend herself, but Arnold just kept insulting her and her love for daffodils.

Their argument quickly escalated, and before anyone knew it, they were throwing punches. Celine was surprisingly quick on her feet and managed to land a few good hits on Arnold before he could even react.

But Arnold wasn’t going down without a fight. He was much larger and stronger than Celine, and he quickly gained the upper hand. However, Celine was not one to back down, and she fought back with everything she had.

The two of them continued to brawl, causing chaos and destruction around them. People tried to intervene, but they were quickly pushed aside as Celine and Arnold continued to exchange blows.

In the end, it was Celine who emerged victorious. She managed to land a final blow that sent Arnold crashing to the ground, unconscious.

As the commotion died down, Celine looked down at Arnold’s motionless body and sighed. “If only he had appreciated the beauty of daffodils,” she muttered under her breath before walking away, leaving Arnold lying there, defeated.

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Prompt: Write a short story about Celine Dion being besieged by a flock of crazed pigeons. The story ends with a baked potato for lunch.

Celine Dion had just finished rehearsing for her upcoming concert in the heart of New York City. As she was walking towards her car, she suddenly heard a loud fluttering noise coming from above her. She looked up and was shocked to see a flock of crazed pigeons descending towards her.

Celine tried to run, but the pigeons were too quick. They swarmed around her, flapping their wings and pecking at her clothes. Celine was screaming and flailing her arms, trying to fend off the birds, but they were too many and too determined.

Just when she thought it was all over, a man appeared out of nowhere and started waving his arms, scaring the pigeons away. Celine was grateful for his help and asked him who he was.

The man introduced himself as a local pigeon wrangler, and explained that the birds had been agitated by the loud noises from the construction work nearby. He apologized for the inconvenience and offered to walk Celine to her car.

As they walked, the man pulled a baked potato out of his pocket and offered it to Celine, saying it was his lunch. She hesitated at first, but the man assured her that it was safe to eat and that he had cooked it himself.

Celine was surprised but grateful for the gesture, and accepted the potato. She took a bite and was pleasantly surprised at how delicious it was. As they reached her car, she thanked the man and asked for his name.

“Call me the Pigeon Whisperer,” he replied with a smile. Celine chuckled and drove away, still in shock from the strange encounter. As she ate the rest of the potato, she couldn’t help but think that sometimes, the most unexpected moments can lead to unexpected joys.

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Prompt: Write a very short story about Celine Dion stealing Arnold Schwarzenegger’s wallet, with dumb one liners from Arnold.

Celine Dion had always been a fan of Arnold Schwarzenegger, but when she saw his wallet lying on the table, temptation got the best of her. She quickly snatched it and ran off. Arnold, who had just come back from the gym, noticed his wallet missing and started panicking.

“Who took my wallet? I need it for my protein shake!” he exclaimed.

But as he searched around, he noticed a figure in the distance. It was Celine Dion, and she was running as fast as she could.

“Hey, you! Give me back my wallet!” Arnold shouted.

Celine turned around and smirked. “I’m sorry, Arnold. I just couldn’t help myself. It’s all coming back to me now.”

Arnold was confused. “What do you mean? That doesn’t even make sense!”

Celine laughed and continued to run away. Arnold was left standing there, dumbfounded and wallet-less. “I’ll be back…with a new wallet,” he muttered to himself.

THE END