Weird News: The Who’s Keith Moon Asked To Perform At London Olympics, Despite Being Dead

Now normally Professional Moron has to tax its staff’s brains to try and figure out absurd fake news stories. Today we’ve had an easy time of it as it’s emerged that… well, just look at that title! Apparently the London Olympic’s staff have asked The Who’s management if Keith Moon would be willing to play during the Olympics. Now the distinct problem with this is that the man known as Moon The Loon is dead. This isn’t a recent event that might have slipped by the London Olympics Team’s news desk – Moon died in September 1978. That’s some 34 years ago. Really you have to be in the perpetually drunk, catatonic state that Moon was often in to make an enormous blunder like that! The Who’s manager, Bill Curbishly, responded with “‘Keith now resides in Golders Green crematorium.” To prove we’ve not made this story up here is the link to the offical The Who website:

http://www.thewho.com/news/title/talking-about-my-regeneration

So what else are people going to be doing next? Quite a lot of people think Elvis is still alive. Do some think Moon is still kicking around somewhere? Hiding in a massive great big bass drum perhaps? Perhaps he’s living in Hawaii as a surfer dude? Anyway, as a tribute to the legendary drummer, general chaos generator, and all round hell bent maniac, we include some facts!

  1. Keith John Moon was great friends with Oliver Reed. The pair met when Reed was to star in The Who’s film adaptation of Tommy. Moon was arriving at Reed’s mansion via helicopter when Reed appeared on the roof with a double barreled shotgun and began to open fire on the helicopter. Enough said.
  2. Moon had a habit of destroying hotel rooms. His favourite trick was to chuck a cherry bomb firework down the toilet and let it destroy the plumbing. He also enjoyed smashing televisions sets and would regularly throw them out of his hotel window. He also enjoyed flinging them into hotel swimming pools.
  3. After an argument with his wife Moon drove one of his prized Rolls Royces into the pond on his property and climbed out, “looking like the creature from the black lagoon.”
  4. In 1967 Moon detonated his drum kit on American television with an excessive amount of explosives. The explosion caused actress Bette Davis, waiting to be interviewed at the side of the set, to faint.
  5. Moon was also famed for his brilliance as a drummer, let’s not forget! Here’s saluting you Moon The Loon!

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