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Professional Moron

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Category: Current Affairs

Jalapeños
1 week ago September 17, 2018September 15, 2018Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: Jalapeños Renamed Jalapenos Threatening Severe ~ Job Losses

Ice cream van
July 24, 2018July 22, 2018Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: Man Drives Ice Cream Van Off Cliff In Lancashire To “Prove A Point”

Assam Tea with Vanilla
March 7, 2018March 6, 2018Mr. Wapojif

Assam Tea with Vanilla: The Greatest Tea Tragedy of Our Time!

Storm Brian
October 24, 2017October 24, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: Storm Brian Batters UK as Citizens Demand Better Storm Names

Fromaige Fred
August 21, 2017August 16, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: Fromage Frais to be Renamed Fromage Fred

Pavements and sidewalks - the difference
August 7, 2017August 7, 2017Mr. Wapojif

News: Carnage as Pavements Renamed “Sidewalks” in the UK

Washing down liquid
July 14, 2017July 8, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: Washing Down Liquid to Hit Supermarket Shelves and Facilitate Pessimists

Bobble hats banned in the UK
June 30, 2017June 29, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: Bobble Hats Outlawed For Summer – Bobble Hat Enthusiasts Outraged

Tzatziki to be renamed
June 16, 2017June 16, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: Controversy as Tzatziki Renamed “Cucumber Dip”

NASA plans to visit The Sun tabloid newspaper
June 8, 2017June 8, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: NASA to Visit The Sun – Tabloid Rejects Request!

UK national anthem to be rewritten
May 22, 2017May 22, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: British National Anthem to be Rewritten!

Government plans mint plans
May 19, 2017May 19, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: UK Government Plans Major Mint-Based Reforms

Beds to be replaced with meds
May 2, 2017April 30, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: Beds to be Replaced with Meds in Economy Push

April 24, 2017April 24, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: Sparkling Water “Too Sparkling” & Dumbed Down

Spicing up Brexit with alligators
April 5, 2017April 5, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: Brexit Negotiations “Too Boring” – Spiced Up With Ravenous Alligators

Drunken football riots
March 31, 2017March 31, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: Lack of Drunken Football Riots Investigated by FA

Spring in the UK
March 21, 2017March 21, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: Horror in the UK as Spring Refuses to Sprung!

Breath of the Wild negative reviews
March 14, 2017March 14, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: Glowing Zelda Reviews Made Up By NOOBS!

Almond milk Hipster crisis
March 6, 2017March 6, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: Almond Milk Shortage Triggers Hipster Crisis!

Bins are what they used to be
March 2, 2017March 2, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: Bins Declared Not “Bin-Like” By Furious OAPs

ice cream sales plummet!
February 21, 2017February 21, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: Ice Cream Sales Plummet Due To Winter!

Sofa crisis leads to UK panic buying
February 6, 2017February 5, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: Sofa Crisis Stuns UK & PM’s Analysis Fuels Panic!

Taramasalata renamed by Sinatra
January 30, 2017January 30, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: Taramasalata to be Renamed “Tarama-Sinatra”

Snow hits the UK - apocalypse!
January 18, 2017January 18, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: Snow Hits the UK – Apocalypse Now!

Glasses named enemy of the state
January 11, 2017January 7, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: Glasses Named “Enemy of the State” as UK Riots!

Obnoxious spaghetti
January 5, 2017December 30, 2016Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: Spaghetti Declared “Obnoxious” as UK Riots!

Snorlax Bandai
August 22, 2016August 22, 2016Mr. Wapojif

Giant Snorlax Cushion: It’s Only £400 & Clogs Up Your House!

Salford Quays
March 3, 2016March 3, 2016Mr. Wapojif

Salford Quays: Swearing Banned as Local Council Goes Mental!

Tremors
September 15, 2015November 7, 2015Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive: Graboids From Tremors Are Attacking Manchester!

Manchester Sinkhole
September 4, 2015November 7, 2015Mr. Wapojif

Unusual Hobbies #1: Manchester Sinkhole Spotting!

Manchester
August 18, 2015November 7, 2015Mr. Wapojif

Sinkhole Special: Which Is Your Fave 40ft Hole In The Ground?

May 3, 2015May 3, 2015Mr. Wapojif

The Royal Baby: Princess What’s-Her-Name

March 16, 2015March 16, 2015Mr. Wapojif

Do Robots Really Want To Work At McDonald’s?

February 12, 2015February 12, 2015Mr. Wapojif

Does Shampoo Have “You know what…” In It?!

December 30, 2014January 12, 2015Mr. Wapojif

News Stories of 2014: Englishman Scales Mount Everest In Only Bobble Hat and Pink Speedos!

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Stormy the #Stormtrooper. Made him/her all arty, innit. 🎨
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A bit of #JohnSquire #art here. Inspired by some other artist, apparently. 🎨
Hell yes, Jamie, you beast. You went full Hipster but I like that. It better be SUPER or I want my money back. #Quinoa #Food
Anyone else miss #Lovefilm? 🎥

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