Can You be Indifferent to Marmite?

A jar of Marmite with its hynopnotising label
Marmite!

We all know the old saying, “Marmite, you either love it or you hate it.” Note the hypnosis label there to get you to love it!

Also, note the Mr. Scruff tea in the background! Proper nice, eh? Well?

Anyway, it it really true? Can’t you just be thoroughly apathetic about the whole yeast based product?

For instance, if you asked someone if they liked Marmite and they responded with, “I’m not really bothered, you know what I mean?”

It’s responses like that that can bring about the very destruction of the fabric of the Universe. And that would be a bad thing, man.

Indifference to Marmite

Luckily most people either do love or hate Marmite—the percentage around the planet suggest only 0.0005% of the world’s population remain indifferent, which still funnels in around about a few million bad bread loafs who can’t make up their minds.

So can one be indifferent about Marmite? Of course you can!

The point is you should form an actual opinion with your brain! For Earth’s inhabitants it’s fairly simple. You hate it or you love it.

Here’s a brief overview of what it means to be a Marmite lover or hater.

Lover

To adore marmite one must throw off the shackles of an oppressive government regime and EMBRACE one’s lust for yeast based saltiness!

Marmite is high in B vitamins so your brain will hold together pretty damn well on this stuff!

No Korsakoff’s Syndrome for you (that’s short term memory loss, guy)! It also has a distinct, punchy taste unlike anything else on the planet we now know as Earth (it was once known as Morag), unless of course you like drinking petrol.

Seeing as most of us dislike this activity then Marmite is an excellent substitute for the stuff that makes your car chug about.

Heck, you’d even eat a Marmite Easter egg is it was available!

Hater

Marmite? Gross!” is an oft squealed complaint about the yeast based product. For its detractors the message is clear—Marmite is bloody gross.

It’s also ridiculously high in salt so, if you’re blood pressure is a bit high, you should really steer clear of this stuff.

We’re happy to announce no wars have ever been fought over which decision is correct; it’s nice or it’s gross.

Happily humankind has agreed to simply ignore each other in this respect and live in mutual harmony! We’re chuffed about that.

The conclusion? Lovers and haters of Marmite the world over must unite! All glory to yeast-based foodstuffs!

Have some gibberish to dispense with?

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