Our Sweet Potatoes Are Really Made Out Of Sweets

Sweet Potatoes!

The blog headline above is the message SPAMOS (from YESTERDAY’S POST; Sweet Potatoes Are Made of Sweets, or SPAMOS for short, guy) have forwarded to us today.

Following a hefty bribe Professional Moron would like to change its mind about yesterday’s statement; we now heartily support the evidence SPAMOS offered to us concerning Sweet Potatoes being made of sweets. We don’t want to dwell on this evidence too much, but we can reveal it involved aliens, cement, cabbages, a huge amount of gelatine based sweets, and an arbitrary sandbag.

We would like to point out that SPAMOS’ Sweet Potatoes are actually made out of sweets through artificial means, as SPAMOS do not have access to the actual Sweet Potatoes that are made out of sweets. It is SPAMOS’ assertion that “the government” (they didn’t specify which one) have hidden all the original Sweet Potatoes in a giant hole in the ground (they believe this hole is in Skegness, England) and the hole is guarded 24/7 by seventeen thousand heavily armed donkeys. This will need some further explaining, dear readers, so onward to glory!

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Right. So the Sweet Potatoes of old are, according to SPAMOS, sentient beings who are able to read light literature (such as 50 Shades of Grey), write mildly competent essays to a GCSE C level, and are, generally, amiable things that “never did no one no harm.” So SPAMOS have taken it upon themselves to re-create the currently enslaved Sweet Potatoes. It is a “cry for freedom! Release the imprisoned Sweet Potatoes from their plight! The marauding killer donkeys must also be jettisoned into space!” (an official statement from SPAMOS). So their Sweet Potatoes will consist of an analogous outer potato casing, and all manner of sweets on the inside. Skittles, flying saucers, chocolates, Kinder surpirse eggs etc.

What SPAMOS’ Sweet Potatoes will look like when they hit the shelves next month!

So, Professional Moron would like to state that (even though we were bribed) we remain partially sceptical about all of this, but also partially in acceptance of the great logic SPAMOS are using. The complete lack of any evidence to back up their claims is, of course, a bit of a problem, but we trust in SPAMOS and their vast bank account. Their product goes on sale next month and we wish them the very best with their endeavour!

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