Exclusive Recipe: Bin Bag Soup

Imagine all the soup you could get in this one!

Everyone loves soup, right? What everyone HATES about soup, though, is you don’t get much in terms of portion sizes. It’s just a small amount in some moderate sized bowl. I don’t know about you lot, but this really INFURIATES the Professional Moron staff. Even in supermarkets you can only buy soup tubs worthy of barely a single meal – plus they’re always laden with so much salt merely eating it all will leave you in an intensive care unit. Dribbling, and clutching at your nearest and dearest whilst muttering in a hoarse voice, “Whatever you do, Barbara… don’t… eat… three litres of soup in one… sitting. GGGGarrrrrrrrrrrrghhhhh….”.

Enter Mr. Wapojif, culinary genius, eccentric, madman, and pottery sculptor. His idea is pretty simple; make lots of soup, and slop it into bin bags. The soup dilemma outlined above would, consequently, be a problem but no more no more. You can imagine these massive things lying around in supermarkets – 20 litres of soup. It’d take a grown man to lift one, so there would be Soup Lifters working in stores 24/7 to get the soup shifted to customers. This would create more jobs in a struggling economy! Plus, you’d end up with an absolute crap load of soup to enjoy. Granted, it probably wouldn’t fit into your fridge, so our side business endeavour of Bin Bag Soup Fridges (costing a mere £500) could be installed in your flat/house/shed for a charge of only £100! Then your soup would be fresh for weeks to come. We really do think we’ve hit the mother load (whatever such a thing is), and maybe even the motherland, with this stunning idea. We mean… what’s more British than soup? Only hexagons.

Have some gibberish to dispense with?

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