Professional Moron’s Failed Blog Mascot

Paul the Pentagon, our Official Mascot. TM. Do not steal - on pain of belligerent e-mails.
Paul the Pentagon, our Official Mascot. TM. Do not steal – on pain of belligerent e-mails.

We decided to invent a blog mascot to liven things up a bit. As we’re so terminally lazy, we found one we drew on an old post well over a year ago! Time saving, see? Should we ever make any merchandise (such as Professional Moron’s branded: Egg Nogg, Spam and Marmite Milkshake, Shed Boat, or Moshing Machine (the first appearance of our mascot!)) then the chap you’ve already seen will be there to guide you towards our adequate, but extortionately priced, goods. Hell, if you can fork out £500 for another iPhone update… this time with a curved screen, then you can risk forking out £600 for a Moshing Machine which, to add to the unpredictable THRILL of our products, has the habit of exploding at inopportune moments. All of this is headed by our charming mascot. Yes, Paul the Pentagon is a laugh a minute kind of dude. With catchy catchphrases such as, “I really can’t be bothered today…”, “Man alive, I’m so bored!”, “What’s the point in doing anything when I can do nothing?”, and “I’m not taking the bins out. You take the bins out!”, you can expect all manner of hilarity to liven up your incredibly boring lives.

Before you wonder about Paul’s eyes and general well being – no, he does not have jaundice. He’s just like that. As for the steely expression, donut let this bely his extraordinary sense of humour. He once quipped a joke in the Professional Moron office which saw Mr. Wapojif laughing until he lost consciousness. One other time, right, Paul was cooking scrambled eggs, but forgot to use any ingredients! He stood there with the kitchen hob frying an empty pan with the same fixed expression you see above. After 30 minutes he wandered, leaving Mr. Wapojif to clean up the mess after the pan incinerated itself. Come to think of it, this wasn’t much fun.

Dispense with some gibberish!

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