What happens if you’re suddenly under attack from CS gas? It’s a didactic day for us right now as it should be after yesterday’s reminiscing. We’ve learnt a lot over the years, most of the stuff being odd and pointless. We’ve experienced stuff too, whilst we’ve also not experienced other stuff.
Here’s an example: never in our lives have we been pelted with CS gas by a rampaging police unit. We’d consider this a positive non-experience and, in fact, Mr. Wapojif has included it on his CV under “Relevant Experiences”. Here it is verbatim: “Mr. Wapojif has never been pelted with CS gas by an enraged mob and/or fascist police force. He does, however, know how to handle such a situation.” How do we know this? Thanks to Mancunian band The Stone Roses and a barely comprehensible slur by singer Ian Brown in 1989. “Suck on a lemon and your eyes don’t water with CS gas, it’s true!” he yells. Apparently, this is indeed true.
The band’s eponymous debut album has many references to the Parisian student riots of 1968, during which the students sucked on lemons to avoid their eyes watering. The police pelted tear gas in their direction, you see. Clever, non? So if you live in a place with lots of this potent gas everyone, grow some lemons.
The stuff played an important role in Formula One driver Michael Schumacher’s career, weirdly enough. In 1991 French driver Bertrand Gachot (driving for the Jordan team) was sent to prison for two months after spraying a London cabbie with CS gas. This, thusly, opened the door for Schumi’s F1 debut. Good, eh?
We wouldn’t recommend you go around spraying tear gas about the place, but should a mishap occur you can, at least, enjoy the fabulous taste of a lemon to alleviate your symptoms. ‘ey up, whoever said we were Morons?