Bloody hell, Jaws is 40 years old on this merry day. That’s 40 years’ experience scaring the bejeezus out of everyone. As we mentioned in our post on Jaws Turns 40 post last weekend, due to this film we’re too scared to take a bath, never mind go swimming in open expanses of water. Cripes! This is the lasting impact of Jaws, you see.

Anyway, the most famous, and oft quoted, line from the film is Chief Brody’s dismal grunt of, “You’re gonna need a bigger boat…”, moments after a 75ft great white lunged out of the water at him. All whilst he was smoking a cigarette, too. Arguably, the cig he was smoking there is the most famous cigarette in history. How many more cigs can claim to have been seen by more people? Exactly.

Today we’re celebrating the film by going over different versions of the line which were considered, but eventually dropped, from the film. Here’s to another 40 years, Jaws!

Your gonna need a bigger boat

In utter terror, Chief Brody goes and forgets fundamental grammar. What a silly boy!

You’re gonna need a bigger butt

Most people would like their derriere to be less massive, but Chief Brody’s getting offensive here and Quint’s taking the brunt of Brody’s mockery. If it is mockery. We can’t tell.

You’re not gonna need a bigger boat

In this version of the film a cocky Chief Brody reckons the Orca is more than a match for old Jaws. By ‘eck!

You’re gonna need a bigger coat

It gets cold out at sea, you know?

After reconsidering what I first believed to be the extraneous task of throwing out the chum line, I do believe the gravitas of the situation has arisen to a level whereby a boat of considerably larger magnitude is required

Chief Brody puts his police background to good use by what’s known as Going Intellectual. It’s possible. Look, he uses the word “certifiable” in the film whilst arguing with Quint, and after 20 years of watching we’re still not entirely sure what that means. The boy’s got brains.

You’re gonna wanna shoulda wudda coulda gotta lotta bigger boat

Chief Brody believes he’s in some cheesy ’70s pop song. This line, along with the musical interval and dance number intended to lighten the mood, was eventually dropped.

You’re gonna need a bigger goat

In this version of the film Quint insists on bringing a goat with them on the voyage to destroy the shark. To begin with Quint wants to use the goat as bait (Spielberg eventually used this idea with the T. Rex in Jurassic Park), but the trio end up having an hour long philosophical discussion about the morality of using the goat to further their odds of surviving.

You’re gonna need to load the bazooka

In this much shorter version of Jaws, Quint rapidly annihilates the shark with the bazooka on board the Orca. Which is, you know, what he should have done. Cripes, it was the ’70s! What was with all the bloody barrels, Quint? Git wid da thymes, blud!

You’re gonna need a smaller boat

Chief Brody stumbles over his intentions and makes an idiot of himself. Hooper and Quint spend the rest of the film mocking Brody’s mistake mercilessly until, having had enough, he jumps into the ocean and swims to shore (except, of course, he doesn’t make it).

Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn

Oh, that was a typo. That’s from a different film. Silence of the Lambs, or something.