Deep fried mars bars have been in the news a lot recently. A popular Scottish dish which has been, somewhat correctly, criticised for being a touch unhealthy. Balls to healthiness, we say! Indeed, we’ve taken things a step further and brought in the pizza to create a hellish nightmare of saturated fat, calories, and illness.

Yes, the Deep Fried Mars Bar Pizza is a truly glorious invention. It requires a dozen deep fried mars bars, and a pizza (homemade or store bought). The mars bars are placed (attach them on with full fat melted cheese and more caramel) onto the top of the pizza, and then get your deep fat fryer ready again: damn right, you’re deep fat frying the mother!

We estimated the calorie count of this abomination would be around the 6,000 mark per slice, especially when dollops of deep fried ice cream and deep fried butter and double deep fried and attached to the pizza with deep fried melted cheese and glue.

Whilst all this deep frying madness may seem superfluous, do bear in mind deep frying stuff is all the rage these days. Nothing is outside of the accepted limits, which is why we’ve invented this glorious monstrosity.

Do also bear in mind there is some nutrition in a Deep Fried Mars Bar Pizza. Indeed, the calories keep you from getting hungry. Furthermore indeed, the thing will make you so nauseous you’ll likely hurl it back up at some point. So what’s the bother? Get it ate!

Finally, if it really must be healthier (if you’re on a diet or some crap like that), deep fat fry some vegetables and sprinkle them liberally on top of your deep fried dinner. It’s the future of glorious badness!