Professional Moron

Professional Moron

Daily Doses of Surreal Humour & Culture

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Tag: Health

6 days ago June 23, 2017June 18, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Marshland Marshmallows & Sardine Ice Cream

Toilet Cloner
1 week ago June 19, 2017June 20, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: Toilet Cloner (miles better than toilet cleaner)

Tzatziki to be renamed
2 weeks ago June 16, 2017June 16, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: Controversy as Tzatziki Renamed “Cucumber Dip”

A ladle and a ladder
2 weeks ago June 15, 2017June 15, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: The Laddler (a ladle and ladder all-in-one)

The Spice Girls Pizza
June 14, 2017June 14, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Pizza-Zigazig Ah (Spice Girls themed pizza)

Pain et Agony au Chocolat
June 6, 2017June 6, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Pain et Agony au Chocolat (delicious!)

ConfiDance the dancing robot
May 26, 2017May 25, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: Learn to Dance with the ConfiDance Robot!

Pommes de Tear clothes recipe
May 25, 2017May 25, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Pommes de Tear (make your torn clothes edible)

Government plans mint plans
May 19, 2017May 19, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: UK Government Plans Major Mint-Based Reforms

Candy Floss Floss
May 17, 2017May 14, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Candy Floss Floss (eat whilst flossing!)

Sardine Soufflé
May 12, 2017May 6, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Sardine & Chocolate Soufflé!

Potato Milk
May 4, 2017April 30, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Potato Milk (like almond milk, but better)

Central Hooting
May 3, 2017April 30, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Invention: Central Hooting (heating with brilliant sound effects)

How do I look like Brad Pitt?
May 1, 2017April 30, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Agony Aunt: “HELP! How Do I Make Myself Look Like Brad Pitt?!”

Satsuma Sandwiches
April 27, 2017April 27, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Satsuma, Salt, & Mayonnaise Sandwiches

Spoon Fireworks
April 25, 2017April 25, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: Volatile Spoon Fireworks Eating Implement!

April 24, 2017April 24, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: Sparkling Water “Too Sparkling” & Dumbed Down

How to lose one stone in one week
April 20, 2017April 20, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Agony Aunt: “HELP! I need to lose one stone in one week!”

Noodles and Poodles Smoothie
April 19, 2017April 19, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Noodles and Poodle Hair Smoothie

sCones - Cones and Scones Invention
April 18, 2017April 18, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: sCones (a scone and cone hybrid for drivers)

The Lunge
April 13, 2017April 9, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: The Lunge (a lounge for lungers)

The early bird catches worms
April 11, 2017April 11, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Great Sayings Revisited: The early bird catches worms

Cement Plates
April 4, 2017April 2, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: Concrete Plates (so you don’t break them)

Haddock and Coca Cola Soup
April 3, 2017April 3, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Haddock & Coca Cola Soup!

Crisps Soup Recipe
March 30, 2017March 27, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Crisps Soup!

The Tea Pit
March 28, 2017March 28, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: The Tea Pit (holds more tea than a tea pot)

Chicken, Mushroom, and Lice Soup
March 23, 2017March 24, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Chicken, Mushroom, & Lice Soup!

Eyebrews
March 17, 2017March 17, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: Eyebrews (eyebrows which brew a drink)

A falafel recipe which will make you feel truly awful!
March 15, 2017March 15, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Feel Awful Falafels (for weight loss purposes)

Figs and Chips Recipe
March 13, 2017March 13, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Figs & Chips (a figgy version of Fish & Chips)

Suntan locomotion invention
March 9, 2017March 9, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Invention: Salubrious Suntan Locomotion

Almond milk Hipster crisis
March 6, 2017March 6, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Breaking News: Almond Milk Shortage Triggers Hipster Crisis!

The Lassi Lasagne
March 3, 2017March 2, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Recipe: Lassi Lasagne!

Do nuts health campaign
February 22, 2017February 22, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Exclusive Health Campaign: Do Nuts (brutal, pro-nut eating)

Posthoumous!
February 17, 2017February 17, 2017Mr. Wapojif

Posthoumous: A Dystopian Story About Houmous Gone Wrong!

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Wonderful way to cheer me up on a dark day. Perfectly timed, thank you @retrogamermag! ♥️ #SuperMarioKart #SNES #RetroGaming Telling Steve off for tipping one of his wheels over. #Hamster tantrums. Bloody hell! I bought GROTESQUE sweet and salty by accident instead of a PROPER flavour... got a bit angry. #Popcorn wars. 🍿 New pride and joy! Get yourself an electronic drum kit. It's effing awesome fun! #Drums #Drumming Oh yeah!!! Looking forward to this, big time. #MarioKart8Deluxe There's some sort of monster outside our home... should we call the cops!? #Morning

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Pie Debate: Are Pies Unhealthy?
Exclusive Invention: Slipper Kippers (for wearing and eating!)
Yoshi's Island: 20th Anniversary for the Glorious SNES Classic
Ori and the Blind Forest: Definitive Edition (2016)
Agony Aunt: "My husband is too hairy. How do I stop this?"
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Arbitrary Image Alert!

Behold... Jupiter!

Autumn?!

ZOMG! IT'S AUTUMN!September 22nd, 2017
85 days to go.

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