The smell of freshly cut grass is like no other! Well, except for freshly cut grease. Yesterday we waxed lyrical about tales of childhood, lazy summer days, and screaming in horror upon sight of a massive great big bumble bee or wasp. It is true – freshly cut grass is one of the best smells since ever.

Freshly cut grease invokes different responses and is also, let’s face it, a better smell than freshly cut grass! What type of grease are we on about here? Yellow grease (for rendering, used frying oils, and low quality grades of tallow), brown grease (waste vegetable oil, animal fat), the petroleum product of fat, hydrogenated vegetable oil, or the latest print of 1978 musical romp-along Grease? Let’s have a look!

Of course, we’re on about grease grease, stupid. The type of grease you get when you peel a deep fried mars bar off of your deep fried pizza. Yes, that’s right, we went there! Deep fried mars bar fried pizza. My word, imagine the consequences of eating that! You wouldn’t be able to stand for a solid week.

Other types of grease smells are good. Let’s face it, the smell of petrol is pretty great. There’s something magnificent and stench ridden about it. You can’t eat it, of course, not unless you want to lose control of every orifice on your body. And of course if you drive a lawnmower over freshly cut petroleum (as opposed to driving a lawnmower over freshly cut grass) you’re in for a world of hurt. It’s not to be encouraged, we can assure you.

Ultimately, as smells go grease is right up there with the grass option, and other stuff like books, newspapers, sandwiches, and burning plastic. On a final note, let us sit back and take a moment to wonder about the film Grease, starring John Travolta and Winona Ryder. Travolta greased his hair up big time in that film, and danced about as if he was on grease, which pretty much makes grease as cool as Grease was back in the ’70s. Greasy, or what?