Clint Eastwood, eh? The Hollywood legend is 87 now and the multi-talented bloke has been an actor, director, musician, political dude, and fromaige frais enthusiast (possibly). In the ’60s he was in a lot of Western films with guns, but these days he’s mainly directing stuff when other people his age are retired and eating raspberries. He’s quite the trooper!

One of his most famous moments occurred in Sudden Impact (1983). In it (innit, geez), he acts all tough and that and then threatens to have his day made by some punk. The film isn’t rated very highly critically, but this moment has leapt out and stuck in the public’s conscience over the last few decades. But… what if he’d said something different?

Go ahead, make my day

Here’s the original in all its macho glory. With this dude acting the way he is, we say we’d have to NOT make his day and, instead, offer to take him out for a meal somewhere. To which he might respond…

Go ahead, make me gay

Well… if anyone can do it, we guess it’s Mr. Eastwood. He has a certain quality about him. Not sure if the bad guy can manage to bend Clint that way, though.

Go ahead, make my hay

What hay? Does Clint Eastwood own a farm? Perhaps he could retire and go out there to live out his retirement quipping movie quotes. Punters would pay good money to see him muck spreading whilst ranting “Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn’t have messed with? That’s me.”

Go ahead, make my hair

We wouldn’t recommend going near Eastwood’s hair. He’d probably do you right in for so much as indicating your like his do.

Go ahead, make me bray

Like a donkey? To get Eastwood laughing you’d really have to crack an amazing joke. Here’s one right now: Why did Super Mario cross the road? To get to the BROTHER side (Luigi was there, you see).

Go ahead, make me sway

By this, we think he’d be suggesting a big drinking spree with the great man to get him swaying and firing his gun wildly into the air. Fun!

Go ahead, make me pray

If the film had ended with everyone having a bit of a pray, that would have been anti-climactic.

Go ahead, make my stay (a nice one)

This should totally be a slogan for a Hotel somewhere, we can’t believe no one has used it. For shame!

Go ahead, make my gray (hair brown again)

To be honest, Mr. Eastwood, you look cool with the silver fox stuff going on. Keep thy colour!

Go ahead, take my whey

That’s a good idea, Clint, no one should have time for that crap. Rather generous of you to give it away for free, too!

Go ahead, take my tray

This is what Mr. Eastwood must have been like at school – demanding the puny kids take his tray back to the school kitchen. What. A. Badass.

Go er… eh? Make my… something

Forgetful Mr. Eastwood! Tee hee foddle hah.

Airhead, make my day

Pretty appropriate for any criminal. You have to be a bit dumb to take on Mr. Eastwood with his big gun.

Let’s bobsled, make my day

This would have been an unusual segment of the film. Instead of a stand-off, they go bobsledding and end up best of buds. Dawwww.

And finally…

Thermonuclear warhead, make my day

It doesn’t work like that sorry, Eastwood. When they go boom you go bye bye. Sorry for the brutal assessment, but it’s how nuclear weapons work.