Great Sayings Revisited: It’s Snot Rocket Science

It's not rocket science
If you look closely, you’ll see a bogey hanging off one of the rockets.

This saying has always confused us – as far as we’re aware, there’s no such thing as snot rocket science. Did the Moon Landings occur thanks to NASA’s most academically gifted brainiacs using their bogeys to stick spaceships together? Of course not! So when someone comes up to you and says “It’s snot rocket science” you should eyeball them and say: “Don’t pick your nose, big nose!” and hopefully they’ll get the Life of Brain reference.

If they don’t, well… just headbutt them. Then that’ll be an end of such an unpleasant incident. This doesn’t clear up the stupidity of this saying, though, so today we’re going to examine the holy magnitude of snot and consider whether it has the capacity to get humans from the face of the Earth onto far flung planets such as the Moon, the Sun, and, of course, the Milky Way. Onwards, sir or madam!

It’s Snot Rocket Science

Nasal mucus is a slippery aqueous secretion which has been used for centuries for stuff. Our research into this saying has unearthed a peculiar world of snot-based innovation. Indeed, as far back as antiquity, it is known Princess Cleopatra, who had the best nose in the history of ever, would drape her bogeys about her palace as a decoration – her subjects would, daily, kneel before them with bowed head.

More recently, we’ve discovered NASA is an acronym which stands for the National Aeronautics and Snot Administration. It’s astonishing how many people believe the S bit in NASA stands for space. Not true at all, as we can exclusively reveal in this post today – snot is the order of the day. Well, why snot? As it goes without saying astronauts have to sneeze in space, which means spaceships have to be snotproof.

The only way to get something snotproof is to first expose it to snot, thusly ensuring it is inoculated against the aforementioned mucus. As a consequence, NASA scientists are encouraged to sneeze, without covering their mouths or anything, all over the shop whilst doing anything space related. This is essential as snot should not be the harbinger of failure for humanity’s attempts to discover the meaning of life (or at least the meaning of snot).

In Space, No One Can See You Pick Your Nose

Truth. Astronauts get a free time of it in space – they can do things like picking their nostrils without fear of reprimands from fellow human beings disgusted by your behaviour. This is, of course, unless alien overlords are using telekinesis to map out our astronauts’ brainwaves and every move, then in space aliens can see you pick your nose. This is bad.

As such, we’re drafting a petition to NASA right now to ban nose picking in environments outside of the Earth’s atmosphere. The Intergalactic Nose Picking Amendment 2017, as we’ve named it, will ensure no human being can land on a distant planet and contaminate the place with human byproducts (gas, bogeys, any sorts of fluids, dandruff etc.) – this may seem harsh, but it’ll seem less harsh when there isn’t a 70 billion tonne death-ship piloted by slobbering ultra-genius lunatic aliens appearing on the horizon simply because you couldn’t refrain from stuffing a digit up your nose. Indeed.

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