It’s the time of year when cabbage becomes important as Christmas is well and truly on the way. This means, by the end of the month, you won’t be able to walk into a store without seeing all that Christmas stuff everywhere. Those songs you’ve heard so many times you’ve begun to loathe them will be wheeled back out, you’ll want to punch people instead of being cheerful, and you’ll be forced to eat cabbage. Lots of it. So, seeing as you have no other choice, here are some renamed albums to get you in the mood!
Never Mind the Cabbage Here’s the Sex Pistols
This famous ’70s thing was revolutionary for calling to ignore cabbages. It was a short lived call to action. Cabbage is here to stay.
The Dark Side of the Cabbage
Cabbage, like a Christopher Nolan film, can go dark – this is important to remember and Pink Floyd wanted you to remember it, too.
Jagged Little Cabbage
Alanis Morissette likes irony and cabbages, which is why she has such an impressive mane of hair.
Appetite for Cabbage
Guns N’ Roses sure do know how to work up an appetite and their overindulgence in cabbage is legendary. Axl Rose is, apparently, a recovering cabbage addict and he manages to abstain by turning to sprouts in times of need.
No Cabbage Required
Phil Collins wants to make it blatantly clear he isn’t a cabbage type of guy. That’s okay, Phil, we understand.
Cabbage 61 Revisited
When revisiting a cabbage, Bob Dyland always has them numbered so he can easily locate which cabbage he prefers. That’s some good thinking right there, Bob!
Kind of Cabbage
Miles Davis was a man who liked his cabbage and he named his greatest jazz album after his favourite vegetable. Good going, sir!
(What’s the Story) Morning Cabbage?
Being from the hard North, Manchester troopers Oasis knew the important of cabbage in day-to-day Manc life. It is known Liam Gallagher arises each morning and bathes in a tub of lightly boiled cabbage, before downing a bottle of Jack Daniels and heading out into the world for fisticuffs and arbitrary, increasingly boring bouts of mindless profanity.
Oops!… Cabbage Did It Again
It is said Britney Spears is so angry with cabbage ruining her Christmases it’s what inspired her to be a singer. Nice.
The Cabbage in Me
Shania Twain knew full well there was a cabbage within her, which is why her album was such a moving piece of work. Twain now lives in a cabbage patch just outside Texas and will fire without prejudice upon you with a shotgun should you venture onto her land.
The Clash was a terrific band from the 1970s which also had a huge fondness for cabbage. It’s most famous song is London Cabbage, a song about cabbages from London.
It Takes a Nation of Cabbage to Hold Us Back
Rap “music” is awful, as we all know, but we like this album as these tough gangsta rappers from Public Enemy knew cabbage was the one thing which could stop them.
Cabbage for the People
R.E.M made a bold statement with this famous album, insisting the people deserved cabbage. Right on!
Fear of a Black Cabbage
Public Enemy grew increasingly paranoid about cabbages and this album followed up its other cabbage based albums with irrationality and boiling water.
The Cabbage is Dead
Hipster dream band the Smiths thought cabbage is dead. Fools. The cabbage is alive!