Arctic Roll: Freezing Dessert Threatens You With Hypothermia

Arctic Roll ice cream dessert
Arctic! Thanks to BBC Good Food for the image.

Recently, we covered the mighty jam roly-poly. There’s a variation on this in the form of the mighty arctic roll, which has ice cream jammed in the middle of sponge.

Whilst not as famous or ubiquitous in Britain as something such as trifle, it’s nonetheless got a special place in the nation’s ruthless heart.

What’s an Arctic Roll?

It’s a British dessert! And it consists of vanilla ice cream, which is wrapped around a layer of sponge cake, usually with raspberry/strawberry jam as a sauce.

Of course, it looks like a giant log when you first behold the thing. But the idea is to slice it into nifty segments. Kind of like a cake.

Served cold, the dish has the power to freeze your brain if not consumed without being most careful.

You may want to add custard and strawberries to a bowl with these things. If that’s your thing.

The taste? Well, it’s spongey and cold and delicious! A marvellous recipe. It reminds us of our youth!

And, believe it or not, this SOB hasn’t been around in the world very long.

What’s the History of the Arctic Roll?

Dr. Ernest Velden from Czechoslovakia created the recipe when he moved in England in the 1940s. He was a lawyer (although clearly a part-time chef, too).

He’d done so to escape the onslaught of World War II.

After settling in Britain, he made the dish in the 1950s and began selling it in 1958. A decade later, he setup a factory in East Sussex and began producing the things en masse.

It was a big hit and has become iconic in this here Blighty.

In the 1980s alone, each month alone some 25 miles of the product was sold to hungry (or greedy) consumers.

However, the dessert hit a dip in popularity in the 1990s and the owner of the brand, Birds Eye, stopped all production! The horror!

But for some reason, after the 2008 financial crisis, Birds Eye decided to bring the arctic roll back. Why?

Well, arctic rolls are typically associated with low cost, poverty living. So the return of the log tied in with stupid lazy people who are poor because they need to work harder (nothing to do with capitalism’s failings… honest!).

Happily, things have picked up in England since 2008! After 11 years of hellish austerity and an even worse housing crisis, mass poverty is the norm and 20 million people live from paycheck to paycheck. Hahahaha!

Heck, we didn’t intend to come into this post being cynical.

But the return of the arctic roll, in a bizarre roundabout way, has managed to sum up everything wrong with modern capitalism.

Serve it with custard and it’ll go down a lot better.

How Do You Make Arctic Roll?

*High pitched shrieking girls* It’s Jamie Oliver! OMG! ZOMG! Here he is to make a glorious arctic roll! *More screaming*

Oh wait… it’s not him. It’s a woman! And they all belong in the kitchen!

Anyway, for this dessert you’ll need is jam and ice cream. Plus, sponge! Want to make the sponge? Here are the ingredients:

Knob (lol) of butter
3 eggs (not 4… 3!)
100g golden caster sugar
10 grams of plain flour
½ tablespoon baking powder
¼ tablespoon vanilla extract

Follow the above instructions (in that video thing), inserting the jam and ice cream along the way, and you’re all good to go.

That’s it. What? No, you’re not getting anything else out of this post. Get lost!


Dispense with some gibberish!

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