Holy cow. How did this happen?! 10 years. A decade of utter nonsense on Professional Moron and what’s it brought to the world?
- 3,208 posts of absurd rambling.
- 2,018,876 moronic words written.
- 15,478 comments.
Yes, on this day in 2012 the world embraced the arrival of Professional Moron in the way it welcomes atom bombs.
The Glorious Journey of Silliness
Thanks to the Wayback Machine, we’ve pulled out some old slides of the blog’s history. Thusly, you can behold the progress of this majigger over the years.
Back in the good old days, we actually headed the site with:
The Musings of a Professional Moron
Below is the earliest image of Professional Moron known to humanity. This remarkable record details our We Need to Talk About Kevin review.
From March 31st, 2012, it shows we had an outstanding three followers! More impressive is we already had Marmite all over the blog! We hope you voted on that poll.
The white text subheader below the hero title read:
“The only way to achieve success is to believe in your impending failure. Whether you are successful or not depends upon your commitment to your successful unsuccessfulness. The path to this success is only limited by the failure to foresee the success of your unsuccessful failure.” Anon. circa 1999
After that, we cut the name down to Professional Moron and gave the website a theme overhaul AGAIN in 2014. Behold!
As you can see with our TOM CRUISE SHOUTING post. He does a lot of that in movies. Also, in January 2015 we had 313 followers. Progress!
With our theme, this time out we added in a menu and categories segregating off the staggering genius of our content.
Previously, we hadn’t done that. It’s better to be organised.
A third theme overhaul arrived in 2015, which is when we took up the writing challenge of providing a post a day.
By October 7th, 2016, we were getting our ship together. With our cheese mascot and a succinct motto (“Daily Doses of Surreal Humour & Culture”), we were ready to do business!
And, hey ho, 595 followers! Enough to TERRIFY with our book review of Solzhenitsyn’s One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich.
We’ve stuck with this theme ever since as we like its minimalist magazine format.
But we have changed a few minor things behind the scenes, most notably introducing this fella as our official mascot. We did that in mid-2020.
Since then, the jaundiced one has overseen our rise towards ever more improbable bouts of traffic.
And the goal is always to shake up the blog and keep it fun with new content ideas. In 2021 we introduced new features (including a podcast) and for 2022…
Well, that’s the humdinger. Guess what we’re going to be doing?! YES! Exactly the same as the last decade!
Familiarity breeds contempt? Not on your nelly, moronic saying!
Our Rise to World Domination
Behind the scenes, our despicable genius editor, Mr. Wapojif, has taken Professional Moron from a nobody and into a somebody.
Not that we discuss stats ever on this site, but we thought we’d do so ONCE to note progress. In 2021, for the first time we had:
- Just over 100,000 visitors.
- Over 127,000 views.
Compare that to 2012 when, from February-December, we had a mere 539 visitors.
Heck, in 2020 we had a pathetic 77,000 visitors! Based on this progress, in 2022 it’ll be 37 MILLION and this will PROVE we’re VASTLY superior to everyone else! Which was the ultimate goal of this blog to begin with!
Anyway. Mercy buckets, and thank you kindly, to all of you for contributing over the years. Give yourselves a pat on the back. WordPress certainly did today, thank you kindly!
We’re not really ones for capitalism, as you may well know, but WordPress has been glorious over the years. And it’s thanks to the platform we’ve been able to do all this.
There’s a podcast tomorrow where Mr. Wapojif will discuss the future of Professional Moron, stupidity, and his general plans. Tune in then, or else!