After the unmitigated success of ChatGPT’s The Adventures of Celine Dion, it’s back with another batch of fantastic short stories.

This time Big Arnie is muscling his way through a number of interesting situations in The Adventures of Arnold Schwarzenegger. It’ll be back!

The Adventures of Arnold Schwarzenegger

Disclaimer: These stories do not relate in any way to Arnold Schwarzenegger and are totally fabricated and not at all real.

Prompt: Write a short story about Arnold Schwarzenegger getting really confused when buying a bus ticket, so he destroys the bus ticket machine.

Arnold Schwarzenegger was in a rush to catch the bus to get to his movie set. He ran up to the ticket machine at the bus station, but found himself struggling to figure out how to use it.

He looked at the buttons and tried to make sense of the confusing instructions on the screen. As time ticked by, Arnold grew more and more frustrated.

“Why is this so complicated?” he grumbled to himself. “I just want to buy a simple bus ticket!”

Eventually, Arnold’s patience snapped. He slammed his hand on the machine, causing it to shake violently. The people around him stepped back in surprise.

Arnold growled in frustration, “I don’t have time for this!” With a sudden burst of energy, he let out a primal scream and began to destroy the machine.

He punched and kicked the metal until it was completely destroyed, and then stormed off in a cloud of anger.

As he walked away, Arnold realized what he had just done. “Oh no,” he thought to himself. “I shouldn’t have done that. What if someone saw me?”

Sure enough, the security cameras had caught everything. Arnold quickly turned around and made a beeline for the exit, hoping to get away before anyone caught him.

But it was too late. The police were already waiting for him outside. They arrested him for vandalism and he had to pay a hefty fine.

Arnold learned his lesson that day. He realized that sometimes, when things get tough, it’s better to take a deep breath and ask for help, rather than resorting to violence.

Prompt: Write a short story about Arnold Schwarzenegger waiting for a bus, getting impatient, so using one liners to pass the time.

Arnold Schwarzenegger was on his way to an important meeting when his car broke down. With no other option, he had to wait for the next bus to arrive. As time passed, Arnold grew increasingly impatient. He looked at his watch and muttered to himself, “I’ll be back on time if this bus ever arrives.”

As the minutes turned into hours, Arnold began to use his famous one-liners to pass the time. He said to himself, “Hasta la vista, bus. I’ll be back when you decide to show up.” He looked around at the other people waiting with him and said, “Who is your daddy, and what does he do? Because he’s not here to pick you up.”

As the sun began to set and the temperature dropped, Arnold started to shiver. He turned to the empty street and yelled, “Come with me if you want to warm up!” He paced back and forth, muttering to himself and using his one-liners to keep himself entertained.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the bus arrived. Arnold stepped onto the bus and announced to the other passengers, “I’m back!” The other passengers looked at him quizzically, not realizing they were in the presence of the legendary Arnold Schwarzenegger.

As the bus pulled away from the curb, Arnold settled into his seat, relieved to be on his way to his meeting. He turned to the person sitting next to him and said, “I’ll be back on this bus tomorrow, but I hope it’s not late again.”

Prompt: Write a short story about Arnold Schwarzenegger at a Taylor Swift concert. He gets furious because she won’t do a cover of I’ve Got a Brand New Combine Harvester and so storms the stage to sing the song himself, but is stopped by the police and a brawl breaks out.

Arnold Schwarzenegger was a huge fan of country music and had heard that Taylor Swift was performing at a nearby venue. He was excited to see her live and hoped that she would perform some of his favorite songs.

As Taylor Swift took the stage, Arnold eagerly waited for her to play his favorite tune, “I’ve Got a Brand New Combine Harvester.” However, as the concert progressed, it became clear that she had no intention of playing the song.

Furious, Arnold leapt out of his seat and stormed the stage, demanding that Taylor play the song. She politely declined, explaining that it wasn’t part of her setlist.

Arnold was undeterred and began singing the song himself, belting out the lyrics at the top of his lungs. The crowd was initially confused, but soon began cheering him on.

However, the police quickly intervened, attempting to remove Arnold from the stage. A heated brawl broke out between Arnold and the officers, with the crowd looking on in shock.

Eventually, Arnold was subdued and escorted out of the venue. As he left, he couldn’t help but feel disappointed that he didn’t get to hear his favorite song performed live. But deep down, he knew that he had probably overreacted and caused quite a scene.

Prompt: Write a short story about Arnold Schwarzenegger playing Mario Kart 8 Deluxe. He loses a certain win because of a blue shell and lambasts the Nintendo Switch for denying him a moment of glory.

Arnold Schwarzenegger had always been a competitive guy. He had won Mr. Olympia seven times and had become a Hollywood icon with roles in blockbuster movies. But when he sat down to play Mario Kart 8 Deluxe on his Nintendo Switch, he met his match.

Arnold was in the final lap of a heated race, and victory seemed certain. He had expertly dodged shells, bananas, and other obstacles thrown his way by his opponents. He had taken the lead and had a considerable distance between him and the rest of the racers. Just as he was about to cross the finish line, he heard the dreaded sound of the Blue Shell.

Arnold’s eyes widened as he watched the Blue Shell soaring towards him. He knew there was nothing he could do to avoid it. The Blue Shell slammed into his kart, causing him to spin out of control and plummet to the back of the pack. His opponents flew past him, and Arnold’s moment of glory was snatched away from him.

Fuming with rage, he hurled the Switch onto the couch and leapt to his feet, flexing his bulging biceps in frustration. “This is bullshit!” he bellowed. “I had that race in the bag! How could the stupid game do this to me?”

He paced back and forth, muttering curses under his breath as his heart rate slowly returned to normal. Eventually, he sighed and picked up the Switch once more, cradling it gingerly in his hands.

“Well, I guess I’ll just have to try again,” he muttered, glancing at the clock and realizing that he had already spent several hours playing. “But not right now. I need to take a break before I Terminate some people! I’ll be back.”

Prompt: Write a short story about Arnold Schwarzenegger at an audition to play Darth Vader, but he doesn’t get the part because he refuses to stop doing one liners.

Arnold Schwarzenegger was ecstatic when he heard that auditions were being held for the iconic role of Darth Vader in the upcoming Star Wars movie. He had always been a fan of the franchise, and playing one of the most iconic villains of all time was a dream come true.

As he walked into the audition room, he was confident that he would nail the role. The casting director was impressed with his physique and his deep voice, but as soon as Arnold started reciting the lines, things took a turn for the worse.

“Luke, I’ll be back,” Arnold said, in his unmistakable Austrian accent.

The casting director raised an eyebrow, “Um, Arnold, that’s not the line.”

Arnold shrugged, “I know, but I thought it would be cool to mix things up a bit, you know? Give the audience something they’ve never seen before.”

The casting director was not amused. “Please stick to the script, Arnold. We need someone who can embody the darkness and menace of Darth Vader.”

Arnold nodded, but as soon as he started speaking again, he couldn’t help himself. “I’ll be back, Obi-Wan,” he said, with a mischievous grin.

The casting director sighed, “Arnold, please, we need you to take this seriously. This is a big opportunity for you, but we can’t cast you if you keep deviating from the script.”

Arnold’s face fell. He had been so excited about the role, but now it seemed like he was blowing it. He took a deep breath and tried to focus, but as he spoke his next line, a one-liner popped into his head and he just couldn’t resist.

“Luke, I am your father… and I’ll be back!” he said, unable to contain himself.

The casting director shook his head. “I’m sorry, Arnold, but we need someone who can take this seriously. Thank you for coming, but I think we’ve seen enough.”

Arnold left the audition room feeling dejected. He had blown his chance to play one of the most iconic characters in cinema history, all because he couldn’t resist cracking a few jokes. But as he walked out into the street, he couldn’t help but smile. After all, he was Arnold Schwarzenegger. He had plenty of other opportunities ahead of him, and he knew that one day he would find his perfect role – one that would allow him to deliver one-liners to his heart’s content.

THE END