Step right up, come one, come all! Welcome to The Worst Supermarket in the World! We’re  a shopping emporium with rotten foodstuffs, shocking customer service, and serial killers wandering the aisles.

So, you’re here looking for toilet roll? We don’t have that! Milk? We don’t have that! Veg? We don’t have that! Meat? We don’t have that! Eggs? We don’t have those! Bread? We don’t have that, either! Scottish delicacy haggis? Yes, we have that!

But, we don’t have most things you’ll want to buy! That’s because we only sell wholesale products that are so obscure they move beyond the realms of bizarre to enter the transmundane!

The good news? The car park is three miles away from our main entrance! So, come on down TODAY to buy tinned surströmming—it’s the most putrid food on Earth!

Shopping at the Worst Supermarket in the World

Prior to arriving you’ll face 100s of potholes and the car park (remember, it’s three miles away from our store and doesn’t have mother and child parking spots) is home to plenty of drug addicts and other weirdos.

Wild, savage dogs with rabies roam the stretch of land from the car park to the main entrance. And once you’ve staggered across the rough terrain, you’ll find we only have lawn mowers for trolleys. These cost £10 per hour and don’t accept change!

Dodgy bouncers guard the doors and will ruff you up before you can enter The Worst Super Market in the World.

You’ll be frisked and they’ll confiscate your car keys and threaten to beat you up if you steal anything.

The Food at The Worst Supermarket in the World

Our stock isn’t extensive and a lot of produce is well past its sell by dates. But the food we DO have on offer includes:

• Surströmming (a newly opened can of this is documented as having the most putrid food smell in the whole world).
• Surströmming.
• Surströmming.
• Surströmming.
• Casu marzu (the most dangerous cheese in the world, which festers with maggots).
• Ham and jam sandwiches.
• Gomutra (cow urine) in a jar.
• Turducken (chicken stuffed into a duck, that’s stuffed into a turkey).
• Haggis.
• Scotch eggs.

And for now, that’s our entire selection! We have other items such as used toilet rolls you can purchase at half the price at other stores.

There are no plans to introduce the likes of fresh vegetables within the next decade.

However, once a month we get a fresh delivery of cow manure that’s dumped outside the main entrance. That’s free and you can help yourselves to it for whatever foul, depraved purposes see you fit.

A Note on Our Employees

Our employees are drunk and violent. There are only 12 of them in store, so the chances are you won’t encounter any of the anyway.

It’s in your best interests to run away from any you do see.

Our Loyalty Card

Our loyalty card costs £100 and offers a 1% discount per every £300 pounds spent on surströmming.

Please, we have vast supplied of the putrid fish we need to get rid of and so this is the only item in store you can use your loyalty card with.

Opening Hours and Other Information

The Worst Supermarket in the World is open for three hours on Monday, Thursday, and Sunday (the latter between 1am and 4am), totalling nine hours of open time.

For no real reason, we’re shut throughout August.

We also maintain a strict no refunds policy on all our items and (on a tangent) we’ll also rob your parked vehicles of valuables while you’re stocking up on surströmming.

That’s why mums shop at The Worst Supermarket in the World!