The Daily Disaster is a dead good paper for dead good people.

Our tabloid publishes only dead good sleaze and clickbait celeb gossip, with a reading age for 5-year-olds so there are no big words (such as “haddock”) so you get a dead good idea of what we’re on about.

While most of our news items are total bullshit, that’s okay. We’re just here to run celeb cellulite news alongside death and destruction around the world. All so you feel a little better about yourselves while stuffing bacon and egg sarnies into your faces.

Get Behind Dead Good Journalism That Uncovers THE TRUTH on Celeb Cellulite

The Daily Disaster offers readers exciting, real-time insights into the latest news and celeb cellulite.

Celeb Cellulite Corner

The Daily Disaster is an open forum of free speech and half-naked celebs on our front page looking hot (but not) as we look for the slightest hint of flab.

It’s our mission to capture all the celeb cellulite in the world.

We’ve got a 100 strong team of paparazzi armed to the teeth with cameras, on hyped up on cocaine, hellbent on capturing the best celeb flab in the world. In only the last six months we’ve seen the cellulite on many of the world’s leading A list celebs.

Guffaw in disgust at these pathetic, so-called “rich and famous” people as you much on chocolate digestive biscuits, flicking nail clippings across the room between belching, and mock their flabby flab flab hahaha sad bastards.

Wokingham Watch

Wokingham is the wokest place in the UK and we’re determined to ensure the region doesn’t become a wokey wokeland.

That’s why we’ve got our lead investigative journalist, Dave, roaming the streets day and night to report on woke stuff.

Whether it’s a lefty demanding a vegan sausage roll in a greasy spoon cafe, or a snowflake Millennial shopping for avocados, we’ll be on it like a plague outbreak in the 15th century was on it on the humans back then.

Brad Pitt Watch

You may well think Brad Pitt is perfect.

However, we’ve discovered he’s had at least 13 nose hairs in his lifetime and once that one time he got a cold he MOST CERTAINLY WAS NOT the most handsome man on Earth.

This makes us feel better about ourselves and our massive beer guts.

Letters to the Editor

the daily desester says it ow it n thats dead food in the batal on woke bastards john from lancaster

Thank you, John from Lancaster, it’s messages like that that fill The Daily Disaster office with a sense of righteous patriotic purity.

Even when the office is on fire and the ceiling is collapsing in on us, we’ll turn to the dead good letters from our readers and share a smile, chortle, and then harass another celebrity or tap their phone line.

Opinion Pieces

Get all the hottest opinions from our talented feature writers and their hot takes on celeb cellulite. From Brad Pitt to Rebecca Hall and John Major, we’re covering every angle of every celebrity to ensure YOU have the latest news on excess build-ups of fat that no one can really do anything about no matter how fit you are.

Our opinion pieces are headed up by our lead reporter, Dave, who has a sharp eye for the hottest saying it how it is talent.

WE WANT THE TRUTH! 

And unlike Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men, we CAN handle the truth! Which is why we bend reality to suit our immoral, cellulite-obsessed needs on any random whim that’ll sell more papers to people who don’t like critical thinking.

About Our Celeb Cellulite Coverage

The Daily Disaster is at the forefront of cutting-edge digital journalism and cellulite news. Our focus on celebs with a bit of flab here and there is to guarantee the well-being of the nation.

In those appalling times, when freedom of speech is under attack from THE WOKE MOB, we’re taking every step we can to fight against the threat of communism.

That’s where cellulite comes in.

This is because if celebs are celebs they deserve to be scrutinised to the most disturbing extent, including microscopic examinations of their physique to detect even the most minute physical flaw.

We’ve got state-of-the-art digital cameras custom built to detect cellulite from a mile away. With advanced zooming technology to locate, detail, and HD enhance celeb flab, you’ll be able to read our dead good tabloid knowing every edition every day will have at least 345 pictures of celeb cellulite.

Yes, this is really weird.

To take your mind off it, read the news features next to the celeb gossip about explosions and stuff. Because every day is a daily disaster.