If you need a bucket of melted cheese delivering to your doorstep ASAP then Buckets of Melted Cheese Delivery Services Ltd. is the service for you.

We’ve got buckets. 🪣

We’ve got cheese. 🧀

When combined, those buckets of melted cheese are almost unstoppable! And depending on your location (obviously, although we’re legally obliged to highlight that) we can have that bucket to you within 24 hours.

When You Need Melted Cheese We’re Your Answer

Our unstoppable delivery service is backed by some of the most intimidating natural forces from around the world. When we deliver, we do so by helicopter.

And the aforementioned helicopter is backed up by a:

• Squadron of fighter pilots
• The Royal Navy
• The Royal Airforce
• Demented vigilantes
• Random coppers whom we’ve bribed

Never in the history of humanity has so much trouble gone into ensuring buckets of melted cheese are delivered to paying customers in TIMELY fashion.

What’s With the Emergency Deliveries of Buckets of Melted Cheese?

You’d be astonished to learn how many people need buckets of melted cheese in an instant. Think about it for a second, then behold this list:

• Cheese enthusiasts
• Bucket enthusiasts
• Melted cheese enthusiasts
• Students

That market ensures we’re pulling in £3 billion a year. We use that to budget for our vast cheese melting enterprises. That includes with:

• Melting vast tonnes of cheese with an ultra-enormous flame thrower.
• Taking cheese to active volcanoes to melt them down (the cheese, not the volcanoes).
• Delivering melted cheese to those who need melted cheese.

And those who need melted cheese include:

• Those who need melted cheese!
• Melted cheese enthusiasts.
• Restaurants.

And the vast majority of our trade is with restaurants wanting to melt down vast sums of cheese so that they don’t have to bother doing it. Which is fine. Because we’re charging £1,000 per melted bucket (of cheese).

Why Use Our Service Over Just Melting Cheese in a Microwave

Microwaves don’t offer the advanced cheese melting technology our business has. We use black market radioactive materials, flamethrowers, and other hot stuff to melt down the dairy.

That’s why our cheese is better than other melted cheese.

Sure, you could just stick it in the microwave for 60 seconds. But we offer a fully-backed, army-driven, berserk-bucket delivery system piloted by elite pilots.

If you want cheese, and by which we mean melted cheese (we don’t do normal cheese), then shoot down our nearest helicopter and he’ll sort out the rest (as long as he’s not in a coma after the incident).