Recently on our coverage of the awful Action 52 (1991) we mentioned some unlicensed Bible games for the NES. Bible Adventures also launched in 1991, making that year one of the strangest release schedules in gaming history.

Now, we’re not religious. To be clear, the point of us covering this isn’t to mock Christianity or anything like that. It’s to look at American developer Wisdom Tree’s… inventive use of stories from the Bible to make three games.

Religious games aren’t unusual as Wisdom Tree is still operating as a developer. However, this set in Bible Adventures is notorious as being terrible. Let’s take a look at what was going on here.

Educational Platforming in the World of Bible Adventures

As you can see in the advert above, along with the lingering ’80s hairdos the moral panic about video games was addressed. A kid playing too many video games and, consequently, becoming a morally bankrupt, violent lunatic who worships communism (or some such).

That panic still exists, with games getting a lot of flack for being too violent and the like.

We do think many AAA games are OTT with the juvenile violence, but that’s a complex topic we don’t have time to get into here. What we have tried to do over the years is highlight there’s more to gaming than just blowing stuff up and is very intellectually rewarding (in the right circles).

The NES actually had an odd number of religious, or vaguely religious, titles. Not least with Shigeru Miyamoto’s first console game Devil World (1984).

Wisdom Tree did totally steal the artistic style from Nintendo’s Super Mario Bros. 2 (1988), although that game was adapted from Yume Kōjō: Doki Doki Panic (1987)… getting complex this, isn’t it?! Well, it gets worse—the NES had a lockout chip called a Checking Integrated Circuit (CIC) to prevent unlicensed games (i.e. illegal titles) from playing on the home console. The chip was called the 10NES.

This thing would check games to make sure Nintendo had cleared them as part of its official NES canon. Wisdom Tree bypassed that check by implementing a voltage spike when the console turned on.

Thus, kids of 1991 were allowed to illegally play titles such as…

Noah’s Ark

Noah’s Ark is notable for its unintentionally amusing take on that legend. Noah goes on a bit of a rampage—as the player, you must round up various animals to put in the ark.

Noah has superhuman strength and can stack many animals on top of him and lug them around. As you’re rounding up the likes of pigs, you’ve got this bizarre sight of the bearded Noah chasing around after them.

Oh yes, and to round up the animals you can also knock them unconscious by pelting barrels at them. Lovely stuff!

Baby Moses

In this one players control Miriam, the sister of Moses, with the goal of saving her brother. Reminder of what was going on here, the Pharaoh had issued a notice for all Hebrew children to meet their end.

Brutal stuff. Miriam must then carry Moses across levels to safety.

As with the other two games in Bible Adventures, the way you lug items around (whether it’s pigs, brothers, or whatever else) is a direct rip from Super Mario Bros. 2’s system.

Also, in Baby Moses you can have Miriam hurl Moses around the place. You can even chuck him into the River Nile, which results in a screen informing players they “forgot” him. Lovely stuff!

David and Goliath

Last and definitely least we have Dave and Goliath. This one has a sheep obsession, with players left to control David and gather lots of sheep. It’s the usual job of picking them and lugging them around.

As with Noah’s Ark, you can stun animals by pelting them with objects (this time acorns). You do also fight Goliath at the end of the game, besting him with your trusty sling.

But you can’t get around how a significant chunk of this title is herding sheep. It’s arguably the worst game of the three and lacks any real imagination in its concept. Lovely stuff!

Bible Adventure’s Lasting Legacy

The game(s) were rubbished by critics in 1991, who criticised the simplistic nature of the titles. The educational elements were also seen as poorly designed.

Retrospective reviews have labelled Bible Adventures as one of the worst games ever.

However, once the internet did its thing from around 2004 Bible Adventures has grown a considerable afterlife. The likes of the Angry Video Game Nerd (AVGN) reviewed the title (amongst various other Bible games from the era—yes, there were plenty more) and that video has some 10 million views!

We’ve also seen the titles covered in The Guardian, amongst other high-flying publications.

Decades on, this shows how even terrible games can have a revival. Many retro gaming fans have gone well out of their way to play Bible Adventures and revel in the laziness of the game’s design.

We get what Wisdom Tree was aiming at here, but as with Action 52 the delivery of the concept is just a bit lazy. The three games have their concept, but don’t go anywhere with it. Lots of picking stuff up! In terms of teaching kids anything, there are many Bible verses inserted into each game, but we can’t see this serving any purpose other than to annoy kids.

Naturally, they’d want to keep playing the game and most likely skip the verses.

We also think concerned parents worried about little Johnny playing too many games (having apparently bought him a NES, despite their concerns) would be assuaged by what they saw here.

It all adds to the curious legend of Bible Adventures. Not only an illegal release on the system that deliberately supered Nintendo’s policies, but also one that is a bit boring and weird. Lovely stuff!