Okay, we’re being lazy bastards this week and getting AI to do a bunch of haiku for us. Why? As we want to put artificial intelligence to the test and see what it can come up with.
This also means we get to cut some corners and not think of any poetic pontifications ourselves. All hail, capitalism!
Embrace the Prose of AI Haiku
Okay, we used Google Gemini for the below. See what you think! They’re pretty good. We wrote the prompts, came up with the title, but the haiku is pure AI.
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Prompt: Write me a haiku about a woman whom falls in loves with a man, but then a cement mixer destroys their marriage.
Cement Mixer of Non-Love
Love bloomed, soft and true,
Cement mixer’s harsh roar,
Hearts, shattered, crumble.
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Prompt: Write me a haiku about a man whom tries to eat a sandwich, but is instead abducted by aliens and never gets to eat a sandwich again.
Sandwiches and Alien Abductions
Hungry, hand outstretched,
Beam of light, he’s pulled aboard,
No last bite, just stars.
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Prompt: Write me a haiku about a teenage who kept swearing, so his parents punished him by breaking his legs with cement mixers.
Cement Mixer of Broken Legs
Potty mouth teen swore,
Parents brought cement mixers,
Legs now cast in stone.
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Prompt: Write me a haiku about a man with broken legs who dreams of not having broken legs one day, so amputates his legs with a chainsaw to achieve that dream.
No More Broken Legs
Dreams of walking free,
Chainsaw’s roar, a grim choice made,
Legless, but unbound.
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Prompt: Write me a haiku about a restaurant that only serves cheese sandwiches, leading customers to become enraged and burn the establishment to the ground with various incendiary devices.
Too Many Cheese Sandwiches
Grilled cheese, nothing more,
Furious patrons ignite,
Ashes, smoky end.
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Prompt: Write me a romantic haiku about scurvy.
Scurvy of Mine Love
Vessels weak and frail,
Yet, your love, a citrus sun,
Heals my sea-worn soul.
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Prompt: Write me a more realistic haiku about scurvy, where the person with scurvy is all like, “OMG! This is awful! I have scurvy!”
Scurvy of Mine Love Take 2
Gums bleed, teeth fall out,
“Scurvy! Oh, this pain’s too much!”
Citrus, where art thou?
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Prompt: Write me a haiku about a woman whom takes 135 selfies a day, but then suffers selfie burnout, is placed on an intensive care ward, but then is abducted by aliens.
Cosmic Selfie Addiction
One hundred five pics,
Burnout, ICU, then gone,
Stars her new backdrop.
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Prompt: Write a haiku about an enraged woman whom attacks her husband with an egg whisk, leaving his haircut badly damaged.
Egg Whisk Ruins Married Man’s Hairdo
Whisk flies, rage ablaze,
Husband’s hair, a tangled mess,
Love’s snip, now undone.
