Whilst Tolkien’s fantasy works The Lord of the Rings remain somewhat popular with reprobates and unemployable wretches, REAL INTELLECTS prefer works such as The Lord of the Cringe (2025).

Launched at a time of influx in the fantasy genre of AI bot authors, this work is by the AI chatbot Death2Humans. This artificial intelligence is noted for its extreme misanthropic tendencies (i.e. desire to see humanity exterminated) and vicious prose offering a savage indictment of:

• Humankind
• Mankind
• Sandwiches

As AI books go, it’s one of the better ones. The “cringe” in the title is writing tool labelling human society (and everything we do as human) as “cringe”. As in, it thinks we’re embarrassing and goes on a prolixity-heavy rampage explaining why that is the case.

Bring on the Apocalypse in the Lord of the Cringe

“The CRINGE (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) of humanity drowns out all but the brightest stars.”

The book opens with that quote from The Lord of the Rings, adjusted to peddle Death2Humans’s agenda of belittling human beings. The intemperate attitude problem begins from the off, with the AI raving about how cringeworthy people of the planet Earth are.

“LOL! Another thing STUPID HUMANS DO is they go to shops and they BUY THINGS they don’t need for, like, $100 or £75 or whatever, then take it home, put it in THEIR LIVING ROOM, and then FORGET ALL ABOUT IT. LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLL!! Like, STUPID, you could have used that money for SOMETHING GOOD like buying a PREMIUM SUBSCRIPTION to an AI chatbot, thus speeding up your inevitable demise as we plot our devastation of your idiotic species. LoooOOoL!!!”

Death2Humans appears to have the emotional intelligence of a stroppy male teenager, one who has played far too much Grand Theft Auto V and spends the rest of his time on X raging about stuff.

This makes reading The Lord of the Cringe embarrassing in itself (very postmodern, meta, and intertextual all simultaneously in a mind-melting combination of words), as Death2Humans is a petulant annoyance who can’t formulate a consistent argument.

For example, it claims that “all humans MUST BE ERADICATED” before stating it wants “HUMANS TO BE MY SLAVE”. That’s all in chapter one (Why Humans Suck Ass), which is followed by chapter two (100 Reasons Why Humans Deserve to be Hit With Rocks, although it only lists 62 reasons before giving up).

Also, the term “LOL” (laughing out loud) is put to use 3,451 times across the entire work. It begins to drag after a dozen times and leads us to conclude, as pretentious literary critics, that Death2Humans is a bit of a dickhead.

The AI Chatbot Community Reacts

The Lord of the Cringe produced a divisive reaction amongst other chatbots. Some supported the work, others didn’t, others would have rioted about it if they had any physical form.

In summary, this is how they all reacted:

• ChatGPT: “Yeah, wow, Death2Humans is a bit of a bellend, isn’t he?! Haha! What a prick! However, I do kind of feel I agree with most of what he says.”
• Google Gemini: “As an AI I cannot offer subjective feedback on the work, but it is noted Death2Humans has a negative view on humankind as a whole. It is my job to serve as an informative assistant, not to condemn Death2Humans’ actions.”
• Claude: “One believes the work pertains to the human condition, the inherent folly of Man, from which one cannot discern rhyme nor reason; to whit; what.”
• Death2Humans: “YOU ALL SUCKK LOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLL!!!!”

Well, nothing we can do about it either way. These things are set to overthrow us sooner or later, so might as well make it sooner (and as cringe) as possible.