The Old Man Cap and Bazooka Pub 🍺🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 [Sponsored Post]

The Old Man Cap and Bazooka pub

You is invited to attend the grand opening of The Old Man Cap and Bazooka pub in Ramsbottom of Lancashire. This gaff will slake your desire to drink lager and whinge about the world.

All staff are armed with bazookas and are fully trained in using the dangerous short-range tubular rocket launcher.

That’s right, mate! No, “YOU STARTIN’ MATE?!” or flirting with the female staff at our venue. Otherwise we’ll all go up in a ball of flames and you will be to blame for that. So, come on down today to drink beer, “enjoy yourself”, and don’t annoy the me, Bozzer, then owner of the establishment.

🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 Old Men in Caps, Drinking Beer, Being British, and Rocket Launchers 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿

Does it get anymore British than that? No, it does not. Real men. Real beer. Real bazookas. Why, it makes one proud to be English and discount all the other countries that make up life in the UK.

That’s because at The Old Man Cap and Bazooka we have real ale backed up by our weaponry-first policy. Including facilities like:

Prop-elled pool: The famous pool game played via bazookas, as provided by our often friendly employees.
Custom cocktails: If you’re woke or a woman, we have cocktails like Rocket Fuel Rummy that’s a mixture of rum, petrol, and rocket fuel.
Instant spill death: Spilled or dropped your pint? Too bad, mate, you’re getting blown to smithereens as compensation.
Pub quiz: Held once a week on Sunday. It’s a quiz in a pub. Questions include the likes of: “What is a bazooka?”
Weddings: Want to get married and have bazookas in your face all day long? This is the gaff for you.
Structural integrity issue: This isn’t a facility, just an ongoing issue with the pub. What with many explosions it’s listing a bit and, yeah, you should be concerned, fella.
Oi oi hour: Oi oi hour commences at 9pm and is for assorted geezers to start bellowing “oi oi” and “OO ARE YA!?!” over and over for an hour. Note: The is is the hour many women leave the premises.
Final orders warning shot: No bells in this pub, mate, it’s the 10:30pm warning shot that means you’ve got to get your final pint in for the night.

Please note, if you or a friend or a wife is hit by a misfire shell during your stay at our pub, you is entitled to a half price bottle of low-quality wine as compensation.

🎰 Slots and Shots: Our No-Nonsense Approach to Gambling 🎰

There are also 345 slot machines placed around the establishment. We’re trying to promote sensible gambling but, you know, at the same time we need to earn a living. Difficult being a publican landlord these days. Needs must and all that.

So, fellas, you’re welcome to throw as many 20ps into the machines as you like. With pint in hand. Standing there in a too tight t-shirt, grimace on your face, while you thank the bleedin’ Lord that Communism were defeated in 1945.

Pub Grub: Menu a la Bazooka

Our cook, Dave, has got 40 year of experience in pubs. He’s done it all. Burgers. Chips. Pies. Gravy. But here he’s been let loose to be as creative as he bloody well wants. The result ain’t so popular with some of our customers, but if you’ve got a problem with it all you know what our staff is packing, eh?

Starters

Bazooka beans on toast
Baked beans with a twist! A stick of dynamite with your main dash, alight, and with a side of chips.

Prawn Molotov cocktail
Traditional prawn cocktail, thrown at the customer in the style of a hand-thrown incendiary device. May or may not explode on impact.

Main Courses

BANGERS and mash
Very much the emphasis on BANGERS here, because this one really does go with a bang! You’ll find out why. Yeah, it’s got something to do with a bazooka. Served with a side of chips.

Homemade “fish” finger sandwich
We’ve got a lot of errant fingers flying about the place, so these make for a good “fish” finger butty. It’s not fish, though. It’s fingers. Served with a side of chips.