Do you like ice, then? How about buckets of ice? Because at Buckets of Ice Enterprises Ltd., we specialise in buckets with ice in them. We’ve got big buckets, we’ve got small buckets, and we’ve got buckets of moderate size as well! And do you know what’s in them? Ice.
So if it’s ice you’re after, remember that YOU need Buckets of Ice Enterprises Ltd. because our frozen water is the best in all of Lancashire. Call us today and we’ll deliver your bucket of ice direct to your location, via helicopter, ensuring you’re never without ice.
Get One Bucket of Ice Today, Get the Second Bucket of Ice HALF PRICE (also today)
There are many reasons you’ll definitely need to have lots of buckets of available available 24/7 in this fast-paced, frantic, business driven world. Here’s a bunch of reasons why you’ll need to use our service:
- Your freezer is broken
- You don’t have a freezer
- You have a freezer, but the door is (ironically) frozen shut
- You can’t be bothered getting an ice bag from the supermarket
- GOD HIMSELF told you to buy some
- You’ve sprained your ankle and can’t walk to your nearest freezer
- You’re trapped in the Sahara dessert and this is your only lifeline
- You’re at work and they don’t have any ice
If this is the conundrum you face, all you have to do is call us immediately and we’ll helicopter the bucket of ice directly to your location. No matter where you are. Even if you’re on top of Mount Everest, we’ll fly up there to you to deliver it.
That’s our guarantee!
And even if the helicopter crashes and burns in a hellish fireball before it gets to you, we’ll send another one immediately after COMPLETELY FREE so you’ll 100% for certain get your bucket of ice (if that one goes down, though, then you’re on your own).
FAQs
Here are answers to frequently asked questions we receive about our exceptional, probably eventually Nobel Prize winning business enterprise.
Do you really have buckets of ice?
Yes.
How many?
Loads.
Can you give a rough estimate?
At least 30 million.
What does the ice taste of?
Mainly water. Some batches are contaminated with asbestos and bleach, though, and will taste a little funny.
I’m on top of Mount Everest, can you deliver?
Yes, as previously indicated in our feature ad here. Please learn to read, we already answered this!
Do you have tubs of ice? I’m not a fan of buckets.
No.
Why do you use a helicopter for delivery? That’s excessive and bad for the environment.
No thank you, we don’t accept woke customers.
