Forget for now the notion of mercury, and pollution and general, and just presume the healthy foods are just 100% healthy for you. Now whisk yourself into a frenzy as we break this revolutionary news; you know tea? You know fish? Well here at Professional Moron we’ve decided to combine the two for the maximum health benefits! Yes, Fish Tea will be a world beater, and our first flavour in our brand will be the ever popular haddock! Not only has haddock got a really groovy name, but it’s also bound to be a flavoursome, potent herbal tea! Actually, it’s not really herbal if there be meat in there, right? So we guess the term Fish Tea will just have to stick, as we can’t come up with anything witty in its place. Had fish been hairy we could have gone with Furball Tea (a play on herbal, see), or Fishbal Tea. Frankly that’s a bit rubbish.

Here’s a quick Q&A:“So is Fish Tea good for you?” No idea. “Will it taste nice?” Possibly, but more than likely not. “Will it make Professional Moron stinking rich?” For sure we’ll stink of fish, and if we can make a cool billion in the process we see no harm in this endeavour. “Will the haddocks be willing participators?” Don’t be stupid. “When will haddock tea be available to buy?” In the future. “Will it be cheap?” It’ll be £50 a box of 6 sachets.