tHERE are few drinks within the Welsh language which conjure up images of lazy afternoons spent lounging about in the sun, wondering whether the sugar will attract wasps. Then, sure enough, one angry little git turns up and there’s cheese to pay for. Your mother’s yelling, “STAY STILL! It won’t attack you if you stay still!” and yet you know your father (who’s unconscious, drunk, in another area of the garden) would tell you to leg it. But, as it’s mummy dear who’s there, you just sit tight and let the psychotic little bastard crawl all over your face. This is in the face of obvious wasp logic – the lemonade glass is over on the table, not on your face, but then wasps probably don’t have an IQ rating above 20. Indeed, one of Mr. Wapojif’s first memories is of being stung by an angry wasp, and seeing his mother’s arm wave at it viciously, accompanied by a belligerent bellow. For being a brave little git I received a Fruit Pastille for me troubles, so it was worthwhile, Sir David Attenborough. T’was worthwhile.
Lemonade itself, however, is a confused beast. There is no distinction between a lemon based drink and the carbonated sugar water with a 0.50% flavouring of lemon in it, the latter of which has become the lemonade of choice these days. Particularly amongst acne ridden, ASBO wielding chavs. Anyway, heading back to the beginning of this ramble, just what is it what done and make lemonade so specious? Er, special. Read on to find out, comrades!
Yersss, without Nuclear Fallout your lemonade has remained lovely and glorious ever since! Who do we have to thank for this? Er… well, luckily, the ****s who seem to always run organised society have managed to not destroy us all yet. What a sordid state of affairs it is when we’re run by vacuous plebs. Oh, hang on, check back 1,000 years ago and it was exactly the same! By ‘eck. At least these days we have Netflix.
Cheese is a dairy based product made out of cheese. T’were you t’ask Beet’s Hoven about this take on music he’s have of been all, like, “You know… I think it was G.K. Chesterton who once said, ‘the’”. Thusly cheese is… we’ve completely what we were going on about.
They look a bit like lemons. Ish. And, when you fink about it, pebbles are stones. And there’s a stone inside most lemons. Also, the acidic nature of pebbles is cool. And pebbles aint cool. Well, they kind of are. We realise this is racist but, you know, pebbles are too stupid to respond.
Have you noticed that, when you paint something, it dries? Amazing, eh? Lemonade has the same attributes. Sort of. Ish. Lemons are pretty to look at. So is stuff.Thusly the link is there.
You know, cement has this habit of being about the place. Kind of like Honey Badgers. Yes, get used to it, we’re going to mention these things a fair bit.