Boris the Hamster – Progress Report!

The “above” view. Note Mr. Wapojif’s foot, bottom right.

Weave owned Boris the Syrian Hamster for over three months now, and we’ve noted some peculiarities in other posts. A penchant for escaping being one, an obsession with food another, and now he’s taken to sleeping in mid-air. Lo, this isn’t some magical art of levitation he’s discovered. We purchased for him a Sputnik plastic home, which hangs from his cage roof. The other day he decided to make this his bed, and during the night shifted all his bedding into the thing (the human equivalent would be shifting your duvet and sheets onto the roof of your house, whilst storing all your feed in your cheeks). Now he sleeps in mid-air, surrounded by food and bedding, like some sort of… astronaut hamster. For more info, read on like the imbecile you are.

We tried to figure out why he’d do this, as until now he’d been sleeping on the ground. He’s kind of like Lennie from John Steinbeck’s Of Mice and Men – infatuated with what he likes, but with dollops of Steve McQueen from The Great Escape (our December post on his successful cage escape bids). As you can see from the pictures (we know they’re rubbish, but we don’t own a camera. This is laptop photography at its finest), the green thing is Sputnik, with Boris inside. The orange thing is his food tray, which he takes to knocking off its ledge as he performs his strange platform dance when he hears Mr. Wapojif moving about (explained below). Silly little git.

A first person perspective of Boris' world.
A first person perspective of Boris’ world.

In terms of his personality, Boris is very friendly and sociable, although we feel a lot of his delight at Mr. Wapojif’s return home (which involves immediately rushing to the cage and “standing”, whilst clawing at thin air and falling over) is probably based around food. We feed him lots of organic veg and seeds, you see, and his tiny hamster brain goes bananas at the prospect.

We’re prepping ourselves, here at Professional Moron, to build his new home for him. It has to be airtight and Boris proof. We can’t have him escaping and running wild again, so expect further, pedantic reports as Mr. Wapojif goes about cementing Boris’ super home together. It will be a challenge, but Mr. Wapojif, no matter how moronic, will not be outsmarted by a hamster. No never!

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