Before we go off on one we’d like to state we love Japanese food. Indeed, we love Japanese culture here at Professional Moron.

And Mr. Wapojif will one day wend his merry way to the East to confuse everyone there with his immense height (he is 12ft tall), immense girth (he is 30 stone), immense smell (he never bathes), and immense wit (he was once voted Least Wittiest Man in England, 2013).

Despite our love of Japanese food stuffs, we’d be forced at toothpick point to admit it’s often not the most aesthetically pleasing.

It always tastes great, but certain things have a habit of arriving looking like a food splat. This is a term we coined a while back to describe food in the form of a splat. In terms of Omurice, it’s an example of Yōshoku, a Western influenced take on Japanese cuisine.

So! In this instance, it’s more the fault of stupid Westerners than anything else. Anyway, it’s an omelette with fried rice, and can often be topped off with ketchup. Now, onward with you into the realms of this post… BUT!

Be warned, for many of these images are reasonably disturbing. If you’re a bit, you know, silly, you may be put off your dinner for a bit. Onwards, comrades!

Omurice

First off, this lot aren’t omurice. They’re blob fish (voted the World’s Ugliest Animal in 2013, or something).

Having gathered together the pictures below, we couldn’t help but notice the resemblance between an omurice and a blob fish. It’s uncanny – separated at birth, type of thing.

Not wishing to sound smug, but we did tell you so. Perhaps Omurice (and we’re being instructed by the word check on this thing to change Omurice to Maurice.

Yeah, as if Maurice is a tasty dinner for one!) aren’t actually omelette spin offs, but some genus of the Blob Fish family. We’ll never know! Anyway, here’s a selection of the weirdest looking examples we could fine. Enjoy!

Now you see, this one looks tasty, so it isn’t impossible to make an Omurice appear NOT like an insane mess of splodges.

Then you see something like this, with its slices of tomato complementing the ketchup smeared on the blob fish. Heck, maybe it’s not ketchup.

Maybe the chef had a nosebleed and then sneezed onto your supper. Yay!

This is, we feel, how it should look. Which is tasty, if a bit, you know, stodgy.

Finally, to round off the splat overload, we offer this image of plastic food. It’s a big industry in Nippon.

Presumably, the Japanese like to keep their favourite dishes around in plastic form, as reminders of their favourite dishes. We don’t know, there might be some other explanation.

Whatever the answer, we do know we want to try an Omurice, even if we’re too terrified to look at one.

“Errrmageeehhrdd, Professional Moron, don’t be so squeamish!!!” We were being facetious, idiots! We don’t mind how Omurice look. Even if it is like a blob fish.