Right, so we explained earlier this month about the absurdity of the Capcom game Ghosts ‘N Goblins on the NES (Nintendo Entertainment System). Arguably the most difficult video game in history, we figured it couldn’t be topped. Let’s recap for a moment: NES games were, artificially, made more difficult so they’d last longer. This being the late ’80s, their comparative length to modern games wasn’t on. Developers upped the difficulty to make stuff last, but this led to games like Life Force. It’s a very good game (think of Space Invaders and you’re almost there) but it’s insanely difficult. This isn’t a a “well after 30 minutes it became a bit jolly!”, it’s a full on “you have 10 seconds, and we’re not going to apologise for it” thing. We’re not joking: you have 10 seconds, otherwise it’s a no go. Game Over. Go and play Call of Duty. Now that’s one hell of a statement, given back in the ’80s you’ve just paid £40 for this thing. If you’re a particularly stupid kid, you’re not going beyond the £0.99p stage. In fact, you’re not making it beyond 30 seconds of screen time.
It’s staggering to think these NES games were so difficult – but they are. The Wii U, in all its brilliance, allows you to download NES classics such as Mario Bros 3. An incredible game, but difficult beyond belief, but nowhere near Life Force. For this game you need professional help. Professional Morons. Such as us. We completed it (we’re not really sure how) – give us a ring.