If There’s Wasabi… Why Isn’t There Wereabi?

Sushi
Wasabi (the green splodge) missing its great friend Wereabi.

Was or were? Were or was? Was and were are two of the most confusing words in the history of language. Over them years they’ve confused many people, particularly stressed students who don’t really have much thyme to give a damn about such complexities.

The sushi world has also, sadly, succumbed to the modern day horror story of was and were. This is in the form of wasabi, which is this mustard like stuff you eat with sushi for some added oomph. The translation of wasabi got lost in translation – the culprit being was and were. There was an international debate over which word should be used, and we all know the outcome. Consequently, wereabi is the greatest lost food condiment in the history of ever.

Two camps fought out the great Sushi Translation War. People took to the sides of Was and Were in the way you’d take to a delicious cake which has caught fire: fuss over it like an idiot, and hope to bejeezus it’ll be edible afterwards.

The steaks were (and was) high, and the dispute were (and was) only solved when the opposing sides met in Washington to thrash each other senseless. Naturally, the use of “Was” for the battle scene merely enraged the Werers further, yet this clouded their judgement.The 100,000 strong army took to the battlefield with such vehemence they all forgot to eat beforehand. Battling to the death on an empty belly is, we all know, a recipe for disaster.

Those in favour of Wasabi annihilated the opposition as they’d all eaten a McDonald’s. With 100,000 slain, however, sushi restaurants could peacefully begin to appear in the West. Wasabi became a byword for sushi, and Westerners did the incorrect thing of taking a glob and mushing it up in soy sauce until it’s kind of like a paste. This is wrong. 

Consequently, we recommend you dip your head in respect the next time you binge out on wasabi. Bloodshed went into the food stuff you’re eating. All in the name of mustard-esque harshness which can make your eyes water if you consume too much.

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