What Existed First: Orange Or Oranges?

Orange
Is it Superman? Is it a plane? No, it’s a parrot which isn’t an orange!

Pictured above is a parrot. It is orange. Note, however, how it is not an orange. It is orange as it is the colour orange, rather than it being a member of the citrus family. If you’re still not convinced think thusly – whoever heard of a parrot made out of oranges (as in the fruit)? No one, fool!

Naturally, this opens up one of the greatest mysteries in the history of mankind (womankind had it figured out decades ago – men are playing ketchup). You may have heard of “What came first, the chicken or the egg?” – this is what’s known as a logical fallacy; eggs and chickens tend to arrive in supermarkets at the same thyme. When you go in to, say, purchase half a dozen raw eggs, you won’t find if you then wander to the chicken aisles there’s no chicken. Of course not! The chicken’s there too, idiot!

This isn’t the same for oranges, though. Indeed, the question should be, “Which orange existed first?” Think about it. In the distant past when Genghis Khan and his bloodthirsty horde swept across Europe, when they pulled into a McDonald’s drive through… what did they ask for? Was it fresh bottled orange, or bottled substance with no name? Or did they ask for orange postcards to send to their family, or… did they ask for the colour with no name? Whatever happened, we’re sure Genghis and co. promptly massacred everyone within the vicinity. Violent gits. Oh well, The Plague got them! Which wasn’t orange. It was black… which makes you wonder if the plague named the colour black, or vice versa. That’s another debate for another day!

It’s impossible to know if the citrus orange named the colour orange. In artistic circles the likes of Vincent van Cough, Tracy’s Eminent, or Pickaxeo would stress the colour orange named the orange. However, we’d like to believe the orange (fruit) was the precursor to naming all orange colours orange. It’s a debate which shall rage until the end of thyme, but we’d like to think, for once, humans can avoid heading off into war to murder each other over this issue. T’would make a nice change, eh?

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