Great Sayings Revisited: Kip in the bucket

Kip in the Bucket saying
Do you want to kip in this? Exactly. No!

Our ongoing sayings series examines great sayings, their etymology, and why they’re still in use despite being utter nonsense. Kip in the bucket is one such example – what? For those unfamiliar with kipping, this is when one has a bit of a sleep (usually a nap, but longer if you’re really lazy) and all that.

Obviously, as human beings, we like a nice comfy bed to sleep in. Anything else and a bout of insomnia might come about. Indeed, so having a kip in a bucket is one of the worst places to sleep imaginable. Most grown adults can’t even get in a bucket and would have to precariously perch on the thing whilst catching a bit of the old zs. So what’s going on here?

Kip in the Bucket

Favourite pastimes for a kip include the bed, a shed (if you’re hiding from someone), or in a hedge (if you’re, like, drunk). If you listed your favourite kipping location to be a bucket, you’d likely have some odd looks administered on you. Indeed, it’s likely one of those little secrets you’d furtively keep to yourself. Rightly so, in our opinion.

The good news is few of us in the first world are ever in a position to have to sleep in a bucket. Heck, most of us have a nice big old comfy king size bed to lay in, so why on Earth are there people who go around using this saying? Possibly out of subversive glee, maybe due to some sense of guilt (i.e. being embarrassed to own a bed and playing down one’s luxurious living standards), or maybe you genuinely do kip in a bucket.

We think the latter is a major possibility. Perhaps some people do kip in a bucket so as not to get too comfortable and drift off into a long sleep. This actually makes good sense, although another option would be to have a kip in a cold bath so as not to overstay your welcome.

Buckets – A Brief Guide

For those of you confused as to what buckets are really for (as clearly many of you are, what with you kipping in a bucket), we offer to you this brief assessment for you: the bucket is a toilet for working class scumbags (many of whom are in jail – if not, they will not be able to afford a toilet and so will use this instead).

Conversely, proper people (i.e. rich ones) use them with ice to keep their champagne chilled and lovely. Don’t worry, these buckets are kept separate from the toiletry ones, so you have no fear of receiving a champagne ice bucket filled with excrement (unless you ask for one).

For kipping purposes, ignore the bucket. It’s uncomfortable and stupid and, if you really have to put yourself through something like this, how about you just try and sleep with your head down your toilet? Weird, yes, but not quite as stupid as using a bucket, you idiots.

9 comments

  1. That bucket looks vaguely familiar…probably the champagne. You neglected to mention the park bench and if you should find a newspaper, voila!

    • No bucket lists are involved. You may sleep in a bucket if you’re small enough, otherwise buckets are prejudiced when it comes to sleep-based activities. I recommend a spammock instead (a hammock made out of spam).

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