Exclusive Invention: Gust Posting (like guest posting, but windier)

Wind turbines in a sunset creating gusts
Gusty?

If you’ve been on the internet in the last 12 years, you might have heard of something called “guest posting”. This is where someone from another blog posts on someone else’s blog, and the whole blogging world has a bit of a blogging good time. Unfortunately, it’s been tainted by business and SEOs in order to ensure business CEOs are happy with their SEOs and businessly, SEOs are favoured by CEOs.

We’re goddamn sick of it all! So, we’ve decided to come up with “gust posting”, which is entirely ethical guest posting powered along by wind turbines (half a million of the bastards!!), love, porridge, and probably bits of dust. Whatever, we’re here to cause a guest posting revolution Google will be bloody well proud of! Hurray!

Gust Posting

To be sure, we’re here offering guest posting to some of our more genius readers. Feel free to apply… just be prepared for the consequences. Anyway, with that out of the way we now can promote out environmentally friendly solution to guest posting. Gust posting is exactly the same as guest posting, but it involves empowerment from wind turbines.

We managed to uproot and re-purpose 10 wind turbines in a highly successful program of theft across Greater Manchester. Located neatly within the Professional Moron back yard (we’re sure the cops won’t notice), it’s invigorating to see the enormous blades swinging on my within inches of the office. It’s very impressive – “whoooosh!” they go, kind of like a light sabre.

Our esteemed editor, Mr. Wapojif, had even taken to clambering onto the roof and getting his head shaved (check out How to Go Bald Gracefully) by the enormous things as they slug on by. Amazingly, the only injury this has caused him is when one smacked him full on in the face at 20mph (miles per horse), and he was in hospital all last week recovering due to a fractured Skully from X Files. Sorry, skull.

What is the meaning of this?

Gust posting? It just means more wind turbines, which means more wind, which means more turbines, which means more gust posting – a cyclical process few can argue with. However, rest assured that posting gusts isn’t a relevant means to promote your problems with flatulence. Please refer to other websites for this matter. We’re here to discuss wind turbine driven technology, not your carbohydrate habit.

Anyway, you can purchase a gust post from us and we’ll host your gust post, promote your gust post, smile and applaud at your gust post, nominate your gust post for an Oscar, and we’ll even get Mr. Wapojif (once his skull has been reattached through surgery) to give a wonky thumbs wonk (think of the bishop in Chess – it’ll just aim that way) towards your gust post. A glowing endorsement.

4 comments

  1. Good plan! I’m commenting using gusty wind-power right now. And by that I don’t mean what’s been happening ever since I had a third helping of cabbage-and-onion curry last night, but that a fair chunk of the power delivered to the Greater Wellington district is made that way. Wind turbines, I mean, not curries. Well, it might be curries. We don’t know where the wind originally comes from…

    Liked by 2 people

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