Mowing the lawn is a chore. Taking a shower is, sort of, a chore. Or is it? Personal hygiene is a chore, right? We think so. If we could, we’d never bathe at all. We’d just gradually fester until people began complaining of the atrocious stench. We’d also just let our garden (if we had one) go wild and overgrown like a jungle. It’d be glorious. Except for more complaints from neighbours.
To solve these two issues, we’ve invented the lawnmowshower. It’s a lawn mower integrated with a fully functioning shower unit, so you can mow the lawn whilst you shower the scum off of you. Fantastic, right? Yes, you better believe it! At the princely sum of just £3,000 it’s also a total steal. Here we go, then!
Whilst the product is still in beta phase and we can’t (legally) show you any pictures of the contraption, we can still (legally) describe it for you. It’s you standard lawn mower, but where the handlebars are there’s a fully integrated shower unit. Underneath the shower and little wheels to help it have traction across grass. The handlebars come through into the shower, so whilst the person bathes, they also steer.
The water is drawn from a large unit contained beside the lawnmower’s engine (don’t accidentally attach the water mains line to the engine, otherwise you’ll be doused in petrol), which pumps water into the shower. The water then leaves through shower unit and is, gracefully, dispensed onto the garden.
Now, prior to getting into the shower you’ll need to rev the lawnmower’s engine and get it going. Suitably up and running, you can then strip naked, clamber into the shower, begin bathing, and commence mowing the lawn. Be careful not to get soap in your eyes, though! You could accidentally lose control of the vehicle, slam into a car passing in the street, and be thrown bollock naked into the air. Embarrassing.
By using the lawnmowshower, you’ll be participating in what we’ve named “showmowing”. There’s a little window on the front of the shower unit that allows you to see where you’re going – that way, you can ensure your garden is as perfectly well mown as they come! But without all the neighbours getting to see you starkers. The only bit they’ll see of you is your torso, and possibly everything else as you scarper clumsily between the product and your home.
But convenience is guaranteed! The lawnmowshower also doubles up as a vehicle, so you can drive down to your local petrol station if you’re in need of some shampoo, or something. Just expect some odd glances. The finalised version will be in a sleek grey and black number, but there’s no hiding the fact you’re driving a lawnmower down a road with a shower unit erected peculiarly behind it.
As a final note, should the product be a success we intend to build a bathtub version, as well as a bidet lawn mower. We might also combine all three together for a hybrid unit of shower, bath, and bidet! The sky is the limit with this product! You’d have to be one foul smelling imbecile to miss out.