Kindergarten Cop: “I’m a cop, you idiot!” Quote Off Extravaganza!

Kindergarten Cop with Arnold Schwarzenegger
He’s a cop, you idiot!

After our Kindergarten Cop film review, it’s time to take a look at some of the comedy thriller‘s best quotes.

This one is probably the most popular of the lot. And it’s great! As who doesn’t like calling other people out? But… what if Big Arnie had screwed the line up?

I’m a cop, you idiot!

The original in all its idiotic glory. Nice stubble, too, Big Arnie! Way to show the inferior imbeciles around you that you’re above all of them.

We love the line as it’s so blunt. Straight to the point, eh, Mr. Schwarzenegger? Why hold back when you’re undercover?

I’m an cop, you idiot!

Arnold Schwarzenegger in Kindergarten Cop

Labouring under his determiner usage, The Terminator makes a grievous grammatical error.

I’m a cop, you moron!

Detective John Kimble

Just works a bit better on this website, doesn’t it? Yes.

I’m a cop, you ejit!

Arnold Schwarzenegger in Kindergarten Cop

For any of our Irish readers out there, this would make it into the dub of the film for Ireland’s citizens.

I’m a cop, you Cypriot!

Detective John Kimble

Well Schwarzenegger is from Austria, he might get confused and presume he’s back in Europe. Or something. Either way this is a great quip!

I am a cop, you idiot!

Arnold Schwarzenegger in Kindergarten Cop

Big Arnie sure likes his contractions. “I’ll be back” from The Terminator and all that. I will be back and I am a cop have a more robotic ring to it.

I’m a flop, you idiot!

Detective John Kimble

Thankfully, Kindergarten Cop was a smash hit of a film. So you’ve got nothing to worry about there, Detective John Kimble.

I’m a prop, you idiot!

Arnold Schwarzenegger in Kindergarten Cop

That’s rather perceptive of you, Arnold. In many ways you could say actors are just a prop, but with an emotional range that attaches them to the mise en scène to a far greater extent than the likes of a fake gun ever would. Deep.

I’m a pawnshop, you idiot!

Detective John Kimble

Erm, you may be a bodybuilder, Arnie, but no way to you resemble the size of a pawnshop. Unless it was a 6ft one. But then you wouldn’t be able to store much stuff inside it.

I’m a chip shop, you idiot!

Arnold Schwarzenegger in Kindergarten Cop

Kind of like the pawnshop thing, all that weight lifting is clearly making the actor struggle to understand what is reality. Have a sit down, sir, and enjoy some instant noodles, Arnold.

I’m a blob, you idiot!

Detective John Kimble

Clearly labouring under some serious self-esteem issues here, we can’t say Big Arnie looks blob like in this film. Chin up, man! You’re the Terminator!

I’m on the job, you idiot!

Arnold Schwarzenegger in Kindergarten Cop

Yes, that’s correct, well spotted Detective John Kimble. Perhaps have a sticker of that sticked into your trenchcoat so people know you’re an undercover cop.

I’m a kebab, you idiot!

Detective John Kimble

Kebab Cop would make for a good film. We should pitch this to Arnold Schwarzenegger and see if he’s up for a goofball comedy romp.

I’m a cop, you idiom!

Arnold Schwarzenegger in Kindergarten Cop

Get your act together, Arnold, and break a leg in doing so. Hang in there, hit the sack, and it’ll be as clear as day tomorrow. We’re always happy to give someone the benefit of the doubt.

Mime a cop, you idiot!

Detective John Kimble

That’s what actors do, really, they mime. Except with words and physical content. So not really. Plus, miming a cop will probably get you arrested.

I’m a cop, you stupid wanker!

Arnold Schwarzenegger in Kindergarten Cop

Just, you know, brush over the “politeness” and go for that. Might push the film’s rating up a bit, but what the hey?

And finally…

I’m a mop, you idiot!

Detective John Kimble

Well, he does look pretty hungover in that clip to be fair. So no wonder he’s confused about his physical attributes.

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